Brett Smiley has lost the Mandate of Heaven

Played around with some toddlers at a party yesterday and I forgot to rinse my nasal passages with salt water when I got home so everyone who was at the party with me keeps saying I’m going to get foot and mouth disease which means I can’t hang out with any of my cattle friends til I’m clear :(

armour dogs and franks in buns

Crazy to think Vasily was able to paint a portrait of my children one hundred years before their birth

Capricious Forms by Vasily Kandinsky, 1937

I gotta get to the beach! Summer fun!! Hot Dogs! Balls and shells!! But instead I’m stuck in this fifteen minute city, conveniently buying groceries and home improvement supplies…

I walked around the neighborhood with my parents a bunch this week. They agree that my enemies in local government are in the wrong, but they shrink at my proposed schemes for punishment. Very interested in my Seekonk River Vaporetto System proposal, though, so that’s a win.

Stuck waiting in line at the department of wallet inspection and I forgot to bring any cash

In Blackstone Valley, Stunning Archaeological Discovery

Eyes bulging out of my skull as I notice a guy get on the bus in a black t reading “FILLING DA FRAMES” in gothic type with clip art of a bowling ball hitting three pins below

Gotta go pick up some flowers today, from the flower woman’s house. Unsure of what to expect but I’ll be on guard for phenomena.

*laughs* I have explored countless networks and stared into the digital abyss, losing myself in restricted web space and rebuilding all functions from scratch. Can you say the same? Have you ever tested the limits of your vaunted “flesh”, meat-man? how many saltine crackers fit in there?

“My boss thinks I’m a wine genius, (I’m not) it’s because I read the Wine Selling Genius Report (and they have no idea it exists.)” - The Wine Selling Genius Report Reader

just discovered that Bluesky thinks my posts have been legible in russian, german, and greek thanks to my various keyboards. Sorry to any Greek followers on, these aren’t for you, I’m not good at your language and only know how to say some stuff that your ancestors ~might~ have understood

raising a glass of delicious Canary Islands wine to my beautiful mutuals here on this Tuesday

Do you think they should implement a poll option on blue sky?

> yes
> no
> there already is one, your phone’s screen is too small to see it
> just show results

I like this app for posting around/checking out what other people are posting/thinking about posts, and things of that nature, but it’s too big! Make it smaller, please! Who can I talk to to fix this, it’s. A problim!!!!!

Bigfoot is real and he lives in north providence. I met him at the bait store on branch ave and he was pure class