Thanks so much for trying to understand and for recognising our humanity and rights

It’s actually a lot like the language and enforcement of border controls and immigrants. We are made enemies in the storytelling. And made immigrants by adoption itself - for some of us literally and others symbolically

I get it but it’s more complex than that - many of us want to build back our identities and relationships and heal the sense of exile and loss. But the legal messaging can add to the complexity in that and sense of what’s normal. Hard to explain in short msgs

There’s a constellation of ways society perpetuates an idea that we are the danger to others, and our rights barely register. In fact it’s society that endangers us with secrecy and cruelty and it’s well studied impact on our wellbeing

The legal involvement perpetuates an idea that it’s ok to keep such secrecy and that they need protecting from us as do other bio family 2/2

I’m saying why should there be any sort of order formalising such an extreme sanction, they’re adults and can tell us themselves if they want contact or not and even if they do say that, there are others to contact too. To me 1/2

The whole witness protection scheme we’re entered without consent goes far beyond one parent

And what about siblings, fathers, aunts, uncles, grandparents?

They don’t shift their opinion at all and will make themselves or situations the exception, in a way that causes mental and emotional labour and disruption of advocacy work for their target.

Shows up in DMs and private texts as asking for advice but is instead asking for permission to or just blatantly claiming sovereignty to do it anyway.

Buys books on lived experiences and showcases them but doesn’t read them bc “they’re too depressing”.

Shows up in the comments wanting gold stars by listing all the things they’re doing differently to the posters’ examples of harmful, therefore centring themselves in a post. It will be presented as empathetic and judging of the bad behaviour but will highlight their own “goodness”.

This behaviour looks like:
Performance of caring by seeking out advice or resources from a marginalised person but sees themselves as an exception from all the observations made.

Just the number from one country - I’m sure we don’t even know the number that includes me and infinite others around the world.