Inspired by a post on another app, I’m beginning to contemplate entering a het-passing marriage to weather out the incoming regime.

Accidentally enraged someone at the gym tonight. Chatting w/my trainer about how T is too stupid for me to be scared of him. Absolutely pretended not to notice his Karen Stomp towards me and allowed (male) trainer to run interference.

I’m safe from the fires, but watching Alta Dena burn from my driveway, I called my parents(100mi east) to ask to stay just in case. Answer: “It could only be for a short time. There should be shelters, which would be more convenient for you. But we’ll be HAPPY to take your cat!!” Super cool, thanks!

Once, I left a nasty note on a car that was parked like an absolute twat next to mine (complete with a scratch and ~1” away from my door). Today, I realized I now work with that person, who told a story of receiving my note 😳 Truly dunno how to feel about it

There are few things in my life that gives me more pleasure than infuriating my sister by being good at anything she values. Making family members laugh, for instance. Or loudly interpreting an intentional snub as a compliment.

Dad: you don’t want to go to that event later?

Me: Absolutely not, no.

D: why not?

Me: Dad, the only reason I stayed at Thanksgiving was because I was high off my ass the whole time. I won’t have that luxury for the event.

D: oh. 😳

Got deliciously crossfaded today and managed to survive my mother lying about her parenting style, my sister deciding I’m not worthy of her attention, and the cacophony of shrieks and screams from children running amok. 1000/10 do recommend #HappyFucksgiving

After decades of viciously suppressing vocal stimming, I’m proud to report that I burst into song in the middle of a busy Starbucks when I heard the opening chords of “One Short Day” #adhd

Working on a quip for Thanksgiving:

“Cool, how does it feel to be directly involved with the downfall of the American Constitution as we know it?”

Or

“Nice! This must be how Russians feel after their own elections!”

Make it weird, comrades 🍻

I am intentionally unpartnered and 99.99% of the time, I don’t miss being in a relationship. That is, until I wake up with the beginnings of a nasty cold and all I want to do is lay in bed while someone fetches me menudo and tea.

After years of suggestions, I finally bought a weighted blanket(thanks #PDA). It’s like 100 cats are purring while we all drift off to nap. My lil #autistic gremlin is deliciously happy

Returning to the gym after a 5(?) year “hiatus” is a special flavor of self-conscious I can’t quite describe—especially after seeing my former trainer. The good news is that he greeted me with a (respectful) hug and delight. Bad news is I’m already regretting my sad lil stair master workout.

Reflecting on my life after finally getting diagnosed #AuDHD and I’m incredibly annoyed. Evidently, I *had* been invited to things my whole life, except these neurotypical wackos believe announcements= invitations ::Slams face directly onto desk::

I’ve never been on the “other one” so idk how this works. I have Thoughts and I’m funny sometimes I guess