You and your family are less safe tonight because Donald Trump's penis is so devastatingly small.

He’s a worthless sack of arrogant shit. Any guesses who?

I think this is the first time I have put laundry on the line with snow on the ground. That’s probably one of the least strange things happening these days, though.

I don’t know how Peacock figured out I was a good fit for ads from Fox and Tucker Carlson but they were wrong.

I’m not sad Texas is losing, I’m sad that Ohio State isn’t losing, too.

Old school. Today’s garage sale find.