I'm not even affected by the fact that I'm not a good person, like, shit, genuinely good people already exist and I'm not one of them and that's fine... it's mostly the fact that I'm such a fucking loser about it

look at me, moping like a fucking idiot, shit, get over yourself you little shit

I want to destroy myself to be born anew, I want to see my body and see myself on the mirror

and see that person in the mirror happy

what is wrong with me

is it religious guilt? is it my parents' fault? why am I such a terrible person? what am I doing with my life?

I think in fiction there's this thing where this rugged old guy comes into terms with his past and reaches to the conclusion that he hates himself and needs to change and evolves into a better person with the help of a manic pixie girl

so where is my manic pixie girl? am I supposed to do it myself

funny thing is, I'm not really into age gaps in yaoi so this one wasn't really one of my favorites... but the art is beautiful and honestly who caressss yaoi is yaoi