Ever wonder what it’s like to live in Arkansastan? Of course you don’t! But let me tell ya…

Arkansastan is right on track….

Listen! Naked dolls are illegal in Arkansastan.

Elon likes to help with diaper changes. I always hated that part of the job.

Finally, someone recognizes me as the QUEEN I am.

Dammit. Oklahoma is a step ahead of me.

But what about God’s will? Tsk. Tsk.

What? You don’t believe me?

Take it from me, JD.
The orange stain just doesn’t wash away.

I’m ready to remove this “woke” filth from Arkansastan Schools. Listen, if kids can count AND READ, then that’s a problem. Children should be working and having babies, not learning how to read banned books.

The ONLY acceptable form of abortion for god-fearing Republicans.

Thanks WALMART for helping us “Make racism and sexism great again”, I couldn’t run this state into the ground without you. Also, the peasants do NOT need raises anytime soon, they need to be making babies, not feeding them!

Listen here, my state doesn’t teach that history nonsense anymore, but homeschoolers and private school kids can take horse riding lessons with public tax dollars. This isn’t available to the peasant kids in public schools. Fuck those kids.