I’d say this has only happened four times in my life. Once with my wife, another with my best friend, another with my committee chair, and now with a wonderful new friend I just made.

I come up with a plan with a full detailed script and then a week later think it’s garbage and throw it all out.

My wife is like, “No babe, that’s how women talk to each other. You’re actually doing it exactly correct, which is honestly just further proof you are a woman”.

I love my wife so goddamn much 😍

I’m trying not to be critical of myself for all this. I know that transition is different for every person. I am ultimately hopeful for the future. Every time I catch myself in the mirror and see a woman, I’m filled with such immense joy. I can’t wait to see myself a year from now 😊

But at the same time it feels like I still have so much left to do. I’m not happy with how often I try makeup. I still haven’t tried wearing feminine clothing. I’m not out socially, or to my mom and dad. I’m still struggling with internalized transphobia (why I’m scared to try clothes).

It feels like a lot has happened since then. I’ve been on HRT since April. I came out to my closest friends and family. I’ve taken so many steps to explore my gender identity. I even picked a new name, something I didn’t think I would actually do.