It was great to not have to worry about missing any hypothetical packages that could possibly arrive at any given day (except Sunday) cuz bitches be ordering stuff online all the time, but can’t use their own damn address cuz they aren’t home most of the time…
But ya know who’s always home? Me…

At home I can’t do anything before 12, cuz I’m paranoid one of my sisters ordered a package here and I gotta be at the ready to accept it at the door…
cuz it would be an even bigger inconvenience if the package gets send back, or taken to a gas station or neighbor…

Also the building is a freaking hazard.

Concert ended and nothing was moving, cuz the only exit was blocked off by people trying to get their coats.
I didn’t even bring a coat and still couldn’t get out.

Imagine if there would have been a fire.
Super uncoordinated.

Mom has vacation, so she will watch my bunnies while I’m gone and I really hope they’ll be fine.

I cleaned up a bit yesterday, we are stocked up on food, and they have been surprisingly well behaved over night.
So they should be fine.

Imma hang up laundry now.
Screw being 26. My brain stopped developing ten years ago. I don’t even know what to do with myself.

I either go back to drawing warrior cats or I quit art entirely cuz it makes me so fucking upsetti.
And then I’ll cuddle my beloved bunnies. At least my bunnies are nice.

I hate how my life is going but I can’t fix it. I tried but nothing lasts. It’s all just short term solutions. I am the problem. But I can’t change who I am as a person. I’ve always been like this. I’m just fundamentally not okay. I don’t know what’s wrong. Everything is overwhelming and it sucks.

Adult life sucks.
There are no jobs that I can do without crying.
I’m effing pathetic.
And drawing pisses me off.

Like, I can try vtubing again but I know I won’t last and I can’t stream when my parents are home cuz it’s embarrassing as hell.

And it’s been the same for the past 8 years.
I’m tired.

The hell am I even supposed to do when they eventually get rid of Bürgergeld financial aid?

My stupid doodles don’t pay me, and I doubt I’d be fit enough for streaming with how depressed I get…

I’m too stupid and slow for most jobs and got social anxiety and I cry over every small inconvenience…

The bank 🏦 send a letter, congratulating me on my bday… and then they immediately went mafia boss on me, and asked me to update my shit or they will pick a payment module for me…

Way to be passive aggressive… on my fucking birthday??

Thanks Balwan!! I hope so too 👏💕

Imma shower, mom is cooking lunch in the meantime, and hopefully I’ll feel better afterwards or else I’ll take a nap.

Having to force myself to do everything,,, is stupid. Nothing is fun. Everything stresses me out.

Every year is the same.
Venting won’t help, but I gotta put it somewhere.

Granny got a bit of an infection in the knee area after an artery popped, presumably.
Was prescribed meds n mom drove her back home. Should be all fine after a bit of rest.

(Granny wanted to walk home…)