Sallie Hess
@sallielouwho.bsky.social
Tinker, tailor, painter, spry. Plant scientist seconded to the design industry. Great stories. Excellent with a pencil.
I just learned that my natural walking cadence perfectly aligns with the beat of Night Fever by the BeeGees. Never say that you don’t learn something new at an airport.
November 23, 2025 at 11:14 PM
I just learned that my natural walking cadence perfectly aligns with the beat of Night Fever by the BeeGees. Never say that you don’t learn something new at an airport.
I am so unappealing to mosquitos that one landed on my eyeball today and flew away. #goodgenes
October 23, 2025 at 11:36 PM
I am so unappealing to mosquitos that one landed on my eyeball today and flew away. #goodgenes
Had a yard sale today which ended in a thunderstorm. While I was out rescuing my antiques, my dog ate my chicken parm sub. Here is the universe/ancestors saving me from hoarding and fatness in 20 minutes. Heroic work, spirit world.
May 31, 2025 at 7:47 PM
Had a yard sale today which ended in a thunderstorm. While I was out rescuing my antiques, my dog ate my chicken parm sub. Here is the universe/ancestors saving me from hoarding and fatness in 20 minutes. Heroic work, spirit world.
Today I said to the kids: “I am going to win the lottery, and buy a giant house with a music studio, and we will all learn to play the oboe, and we’ll be like the Von Trapp Family, and you won’t have to go to school.” #neptuneinaries
April 4, 2025 at 12:11 PM
Today I said to the kids: “I am going to win the lottery, and buy a giant house with a music studio, and we will all learn to play the oboe, and we’ll be like the Von Trapp Family, and you won’t have to go to school.” #neptuneinaries
There’s no setting in “find my” for detecting the air pods that are in your ears, and it’s a lost opportunity for snark IMHO. Of course, I didn’t know which ones were missing because I have also not renamed them. So. If this makes sense to anyone but me I will be flabbergasted. #2pmbrainholiday
March 6, 2025 at 7:22 PM
There’s no setting in “find my” for detecting the air pods that are in your ears, and it’s a lost opportunity for snark IMHO. Of course, I didn’t know which ones were missing because I have also not renamed them. So. If this makes sense to anyone but me I will be flabbergasted. #2pmbrainholiday
This week, remembering one of the great tw**ts of yore, when Kanye said he would never make a diss album, and someone retweeted “I didn’t know Kanye was Italian.” RIP KW and Dr
February 7, 2025 at 12:14 AM
This week, remembering one of the great tw**ts of yore, when Kanye said he would never make a diss album, and someone retweeted “I didn’t know Kanye was Italian.” RIP KW and Dr
I learned yesterday that the Norwegians discovered the South Pole ahead of the British partly because they were willing to eat their sled dogs and the British were not, and this is one reason why the whole Greenland thing will never fly.
January 28, 2025 at 11:26 AM
I learned yesterday that the Norwegians discovered the South Pole ahead of the British partly because they were willing to eat their sled dogs and the British were not, and this is one reason why the whole Greenland thing will never fly.
The ice dam groweth (with apologies to Eugene O’Neill). Day 3 of snow days and zoom school after 21 days of Christmas break. Send whiskey.
January 8, 2025 at 8:10 PM
The ice dam groweth (with apologies to Eugene O’Neill). Day 3 of snow days and zoom school after 21 days of Christmas break. Send whiskey.
I was drawing a blank on the vitamins Nobel prize winner and couldn’t get Lionel Hufnel out of that receptor. It’s Linus Pauling btw. #thisisspinaltap
December 16, 2024 at 12:57 PM
I was drawing a blank on the vitamins Nobel prize winner and couldn’t get Lionel Hufnel out of that receptor. It’s Linus Pauling btw. #thisisspinaltap
Apropos of nothing, United healthcare initially denied coverage for my daughter’s birth, because she didn’t exist the day before she was born. I had to fight them on it. It took hours. Apparently the 9 months of prenatal care didn’t clue them in.
December 10, 2024 at 8:29 PM
Apropos of nothing, United healthcare initially denied coverage for my daughter’s birth, because she didn’t exist the day before she was born. I had to fight them on it. It took hours. Apparently the 9 months of prenatal care didn’t clue them in.
At 7:30 on thanksgiving, the store is full of women. At 11:30, the men will arrive to get what we forgot at 7:30, which we were there to get at the last minute as the “very last trip.”
November 28, 2024 at 1:34 PM
At 7:30 on thanksgiving, the store is full of women. At 11:30, the men will arrive to get what we forgot at 7:30, which we were there to get at the last minute as the “very last trip.”
Shout out to my new sump pump!
January 10, 2024 at 12:51 AM
Shout out to my new sump pump!
Can we please help remind each other that Trader Joe’s vegetables rot upon entry to the residential refrigerator? #christmasdinnerproblems
December 25, 2023 at 12:09 AM
Can we please help remind each other that Trader Joe’s vegetables rot upon entry to the residential refrigerator? #christmasdinnerproblems
I feel my age at Christmas. Dreading the store, grumpy about lotsa stuff, crickety from sitting on the floor, numb toe from wearing heels two nights in a row…excited it will be January soon?!
December 24, 2023 at 2:41 AM
I feel my age at Christmas. Dreading the store, grumpy about lotsa stuff, crickety from sitting on the floor, numb toe from wearing heels two nights in a row…excited it will be January soon?!
Must get the pumpkins off my stoop in time for my Christmas party tomorrow night. 😬😬 Looks like an early bedtime for me.
December 21, 2023 at 1:02 AM
Must get the pumpkins off my stoop in time for my Christmas party tomorrow night. 😬😬 Looks like an early bedtime for me.
Why should I have to unload these groceries out of my car when I have already braved the Costco parking lot?
December 20, 2023 at 9:50 PM
Why should I have to unload these groceries out of my car when I have already braved the Costco parking lot?
Took my adhd children to target the weekend before Christmas and they are still alive. Nobel peace prize committee, take note.
December 17, 2023 at 11:16 PM
Took my adhd children to target the weekend before Christmas and they are still alive. Nobel peace prize committee, take note.
“Siri, how old is Mr. T?”
November 30, 2023 at 12:39 AM
“Siri, how old is Mr. T?”
It’s funny when you are following two dots in the same car and one gets left behind at a turn and the 80s child in me says, “must have opened the door and rolled away to safety down a ravine.”
November 8, 2023 at 11:47 PM
It’s funny when you are following two dots in the same car and one gets left behind at a turn and the 80s child in me says, “must have opened the door and rolled away to safety down a ravine.”
Just told my boyfriend he needed to help me out of our Uber because I’m a delicate flower and the driver started giggling. Love an audience of one.
November 5, 2023 at 10:53 PM
Just told my boyfriend he needed to help me out of our Uber because I’m a delicate flower and the driver started giggling. Love an audience of one.
Watching 60yos get carded in Nashville after a bachelorette party of child brides waltzed in in their white boots. Broadway is something else
November 5, 2023 at 9:12 PM
Watching 60yos get carded in Nashville after a bachelorette party of child brides waltzed in in their white boots. Broadway is something else
I guess it’s cool we know what is in Tollund Man’s stomach but maybe it would have been better not to let him not disintegrate in a glass museum box.
November 3, 2023 at 2:22 AM
I guess it’s cool we know what is in Tollund Man’s stomach but maybe it would have been better not to let him not disintegrate in a glass museum box.
How am I supposed to go to bed without having mashed potatoes first?
October 26, 2023 at 2:52 AM
How am I supposed to go to bed without having mashed potatoes first?
There is some bird outside my window that sounds like the clicker on a gas stove.
October 22, 2023 at 12:11 PM
There is some bird outside my window that sounds like the clicker on a gas stove.
My dog would like for me to know that it is bedtime. He is letting me know by breathing extra heavily and staring at the corner and periodically groaning and then looking at me to see if I have noticed his theatrics.
October 22, 2023 at 1:08 AM
My dog would like for me to know that it is bedtime. He is letting me know by breathing extra heavily and staring at the corner and periodically groaning and then looking at me to see if I have noticed his theatrics.