SAHM
@sahmom.bsky.social
Comic content - mom who stays at home after gruesome corporate finance career. Frequently questions her parenting.
Tried to avoid phone use while nursing to promote closeness. I fell asleep instantly, so good news, I’m back on my phone to stay awake
October 14, 2025 at 2:10 AM
Tried to avoid phone use while nursing to promote closeness. I fell asleep instantly, so good news, I’m back on my phone to stay awake
7 year old: I KNOW what you and daddy do at night when the kids go to bed.
Me: 😶 what’s that sweetie..?
7 year old: play Mario kart and eat ice cream.
She got me there 😅
Me: 😶 what’s that sweetie..?
7 year old: play Mario kart and eat ice cream.
She got me there 😅
August 9, 2025 at 12:40 AM
7 year old: I KNOW what you and daddy do at night when the kids go to bed.
Me: 😶 what’s that sweetie..?
7 year old: play Mario kart and eat ice cream.
She got me there 😅
Me: 😶 what’s that sweetie..?
7 year old: play Mario kart and eat ice cream.
She got me there 😅
My daughter and her brother were playing flight pilot. My daughter said her brother was the homeless person sleeping at the airport and she was trying to find a home for him. So kind of her
August 7, 2025 at 8:24 PM
My daughter and her brother were playing flight pilot. My daughter said her brother was the homeless person sleeping at the airport and she was trying to find a home for him. So kind of her
I asked my 7 year old daughter what she was play pretending. She informed me she was a detective in a murder mystery and photographing the crime scene. Yep, she’s mine.
August 7, 2025 at 8:20 PM
I asked my 7 year old daughter what she was play pretending. She informed me she was a detective in a murder mystery and photographing the crime scene. Yep, she’s mine.
Eye doctor: you have an astigmatism and need a prescription.
Me: does that mean I can watch jeopardy without eye strain?!
This is what 30 looks like
Me: does that mean I can watch jeopardy without eye strain?!
This is what 30 looks like
August 5, 2025 at 2:58 PM
Eye doctor: you have an astigmatism and need a prescription.
Me: does that mean I can watch jeopardy without eye strain?!
This is what 30 looks like
Me: does that mean I can watch jeopardy without eye strain?!
This is what 30 looks like
Turned 30
Doctor: you have a bulging disc in your C5 vertebrae.
Eye Doctor: you need glasses.
Oh okay
Doctor: you have a bulging disc in your C5 vertebrae.
Eye Doctor: you need glasses.
Oh okay
August 5, 2025 at 2:55 PM
Turned 30
Doctor: you have a bulging disc in your C5 vertebrae.
Eye Doctor: you need glasses.
Oh okay
Doctor: you have a bulging disc in your C5 vertebrae.
Eye Doctor: you need glasses.
Oh okay
I have resorted to consuming increasingly spicy chips so my kids won’t steal them from me. Instead my kids have just adapted to eating extremely spicy chips.
July 31, 2025 at 1:50 PM
I have resorted to consuming increasingly spicy chips so my kids won’t steal them from me. Instead my kids have just adapted to eating extremely spicy chips.
Had a coupon for free chick-fil-a. At the drive in I read off the coupon “can I please have a Chick-fil-a chicken sandwich” and they were like “a chicken sandwich…. Yes”
Guess I didn’t have to say the chick-fil-a part
Guess I didn’t have to say the chick-fil-a part
July 31, 2025 at 1:49 PM
Had a coupon for free chick-fil-a. At the drive in I read off the coupon “can I please have a Chick-fil-a chicken sandwich” and they were like “a chicken sandwich…. Yes”
Guess I didn’t have to say the chick-fil-a part
Guess I didn’t have to say the chick-fil-a part
My husband cleaned and vacuumed the car before a long trip. His words, and I quote, “if you locked our kids in that car for a week, they could survive purely on the amount of snacks jammed under the seats”
July 29, 2025 at 7:12 PM
My husband cleaned and vacuumed the car before a long trip. His words, and I quote, “if you locked our kids in that car for a week, they could survive purely on the amount of snacks jammed under the seats”
Yes, child, you can stay up late and watch TV with me…
But it’s going to be a documentary on the evolution of sparrow’s beaks on the Galápagos Islands.
But it’s going to be a documentary on the evolution of sparrow’s beaks on the Galápagos Islands.
July 25, 2025 at 12:18 AM
Yes, child, you can stay up late and watch TV with me…
But it’s going to be a documentary on the evolution of sparrow’s beaks on the Galápagos Islands.
But it’s going to be a documentary on the evolution of sparrow’s beaks on the Galápagos Islands.
I’m a chill mom
Just please don’t feed my child any sugar, non plant-based dyes, preservatives, artificial sweeteners, and don’t forget to apply sunscreen between the hours of 9:30am and 6pm and oh also no way to hot liquids in to-go cups (microplastics amirite)
Just please don’t feed my child any sugar, non plant-based dyes, preservatives, artificial sweeteners, and don’t forget to apply sunscreen between the hours of 9:30am and 6pm and oh also no way to hot liquids in to-go cups (microplastics amirite)
July 23, 2025 at 1:23 AM
I’m a chill mom
Just please don’t feed my child any sugar, non plant-based dyes, preservatives, artificial sweeteners, and don’t forget to apply sunscreen between the hours of 9:30am and 6pm and oh also no way to hot liquids in to-go cups (microplastics amirite)
Just please don’t feed my child any sugar, non plant-based dyes, preservatives, artificial sweeteners, and don’t forget to apply sunscreen between the hours of 9:30am and 6pm and oh also no way to hot liquids in to-go cups (microplastics amirite)
Discovered the way to get toddlers to eat carrots is to purchase a pet rabbit 🐰 one carrot for toddler, one carrot for the bunny
July 22, 2025 at 1:48 AM
Discovered the way to get toddlers to eat carrots is to purchase a pet rabbit 🐰 one carrot for toddler, one carrot for the bunny
I asked my 2 year old son what he wanted for a bedtime lullaby….Twinkle twinkle little star… you are my sunshine…. Mr. Sun… do you know what he asked for? Beyoncé 🤣
July 16, 2025 at 11:55 PM
I asked my 2 year old son what he wanted for a bedtime lullaby….Twinkle twinkle little star… you are my sunshine…. Mr. Sun… do you know what he asked for? Beyoncé 🤣
Every time I kiss my 2 year old son he asks “where are you going?!” - as if I can’t kiss him for no reason 😗
July 16, 2025 at 11:20 PM
Every time I kiss my 2 year old son he asks “where are you going?!” - as if I can’t kiss him for no reason 😗
For a brief moment in time, my body felt immaculate - like I was invincible, and could think clearly without words being jumbled.
And then my Tylenol wore off.
And then my Tylenol wore off.
July 10, 2025 at 4:35 PM
For a brief moment in time, my body felt immaculate - like I was invincible, and could think clearly without words being jumbled.
And then my Tylenol wore off.
And then my Tylenol wore off.
We set the bar too high, now my oldest is disappointed that we don’t have alphabet pancakes every day of the week. Send me advice on how to put this gently to her
July 10, 2025 at 4:32 PM
We set the bar too high, now my oldest is disappointed that we don’t have alphabet pancakes every day of the week. Send me advice on how to put this gently to her
Husbands be like “imma dip out for 2 weeks” and expect you not to be absolutely baffled about what in the actual fuck
July 10, 2025 at 4:30 PM
Husbands be like “imma dip out for 2 weeks” and expect you not to be absolutely baffled about what in the actual fuck
Me with binoculars and a Mountain View of the boundaries MILs dare to cross
July 10, 2025 at 4:01 PM
Me with binoculars and a Mountain View of the boundaries MILs dare to cross
3 parent chores ranked
1. Cleaning toys and organizing the playroom 10/10- it’s full of joy imagining the excitement children have when playing.
2. Folding laundry 6/10 - it’s nice to watch some documentaries or podcasts to.
3. Dishes 0/10- cant break up a children fight with wet hands, never ends
1. Cleaning toys and organizing the playroom 10/10- it’s full of joy imagining the excitement children have when playing.
2. Folding laundry 6/10 - it’s nice to watch some documentaries or podcasts to.
3. Dishes 0/10- cant break up a children fight with wet hands, never ends
July 10, 2025 at 4:00 PM
3 parent chores ranked
1. Cleaning toys and organizing the playroom 10/10- it’s full of joy imagining the excitement children have when playing.
2. Folding laundry 6/10 - it’s nice to watch some documentaries or podcasts to.
3. Dishes 0/10- cant break up a children fight with wet hands, never ends
1. Cleaning toys and organizing the playroom 10/10- it’s full of joy imagining the excitement children have when playing.
2. Folding laundry 6/10 - it’s nice to watch some documentaries or podcasts to.
3. Dishes 0/10- cant break up a children fight with wet hands, never ends
My baby doesn’t suck her thumb like a cute baby would. Instead she shoves 4 fingers deep in her throat until she gags. Only then is she satisfied and calm 😬
July 8, 2025 at 4:15 PM
My baby doesn’t suck her thumb like a cute baby would. Instead she shoves 4 fingers deep in her throat until she gags. Only then is she satisfied and calm 😬
For dinner, me, Chef Mama, made perfectly mid rare steak, crunchy asparagus, caramelized mushrooms, cornbread muffins and watermelon slices. My daughter halfway through the meal says “no offense but this is the worst meal you’ve ever made” 🫠
June 20, 2025 at 10:36 PM
For dinner, me, Chef Mama, made perfectly mid rare steak, crunchy asparagus, caramelized mushrooms, cornbread muffins and watermelon slices. My daughter halfway through the meal says “no offense but this is the worst meal you’ve ever made” 🫠
7 year old to our 2 month old: “you’re so cute. I’m not cute anymore 🙁”
Me: “of course you’re cute. Am I cute to you 😝”
7 year old: “you have a big butt” 💀💀💀💀💀
Me: “of course you’re cute. Am I cute to you 😝”
7 year old: “you have a big butt” 💀💀💀💀💀
June 17, 2025 at 6:17 PM
7 year old to our 2 month old: “you’re so cute. I’m not cute anymore 🙁”
Me: “of course you’re cute. Am I cute to you 😝”
7 year old: “you have a big butt” 💀💀💀💀💀
Me: “of course you’re cute. Am I cute to you 😝”
7 year old: “you have a big butt” 💀💀💀💀💀
My daughter broke the news to me that she wants to travel for college instead of stay home and do online school. Naturally I’m devastated.
Also she’s 6 🤣
Also she’s 6 🤣
June 13, 2025 at 2:04 AM
My daughter broke the news to me that she wants to travel for college instead of stay home and do online school. Naturally I’m devastated.
Also she’s 6 🤣
Also she’s 6 🤣
It’s the last day of school for our first grader. It was a half day. After 2 consecutive hours of all 3 kids being unhappy… this is already going to be a long summer 🙃
June 12, 2025 at 10:32 PM
It’s the last day of school for our first grader. It was a half day. After 2 consecutive hours of all 3 kids being unhappy… this is already going to be a long summer 🙃
