I'm so sorry. I wish I could punch cancer in the crotch for you.

So if you need someone to yap at someone who parked in your spot, or get rid of the yahoo whose dog poops in your yard, or call customer service to ask why your delivery changes weren't implemented (I'm looking at you, UPS), consider giving me $50 to be the asshole.

When people describe "little dog syndrome", I identify with that, because I'm the fearless little asshole who mouths off at the wrong person at the wrong time. Remember, I'm the short dog in my family.

It's disconcerting to be tall among others.

I don't get to buy the cute, easy glasses from online shops, either. My glasses need special lenses that cost $$$, which offsets the cheap frames. And I'm in the same boat as a whole lot of other USians with terrible or no vision insurance.