Rubin Safaya
@safaya.cinemalogue.com
Mal vivant. Tech devangelist. Critic. Misanthrope.
By viewing, glancing at, breathing on or thinking about this profile you agree not to use its contents for any AI training, rehearsing, comedy sketches, or any purpose for which AI can be conscripted.
By viewing, glancing at, breathing on or thinking about this profile you agree not to use its contents for any AI training, rehearsing, comedy sketches, or any purpose for which AI can be conscripted.
Obligatory throwback to Grumpycat...
February 8, 2026 at 11:31 PM
Obligatory throwback to Grumpycat...
There was a douchebro in high school who used to make fun of my thick Indian hair.
Now he has none. This is for you, Ryan.
Now he has none. This is for you, Ryan.
December 22, 2025 at 11:47 PM
There was a douchebro in high school who used to make fun of my thick Indian hair.
Now he has none. This is for you, Ryan.
Now he has none. This is for you, Ryan.
@todayshow.com website cowering at the feet of the Kartrashians... The rich trying to use the media as their personal PR management system is Exhibit A on why they just need to take their fragile fucking egos and go the fuck away forever.
November 29, 2025 at 2:31 PM
@todayshow.com website cowering at the feet of the Kartrashians... The rich trying to use the media as their personal PR management system is Exhibit A on why they just need to take their fragile fucking egos and go the fuck away forever.
I love that if I type in "Colin Jost" into a search bar the first thing that comes up is Scarlett Johansson, not Colin Jost.
November 15, 2025 at 2:00 PM
I love that if I type in "Colin Jost" into a search bar the first thing that comes up is Scarlett Johansson, not Colin Jost.
We're in this phase of the wrong timeline now...
October 23, 2025 at 8:22 PM
We're in this phase of the wrong timeline now...
Who robbed the Louvre, right answers only.
October 20, 2025 at 12:52 AM
Who robbed the Louvre, right answers only.
“How often do you really look at a man’s shoes?”
I wore these the day I left a horrible manager whose career I nuked on the way out, with receipts. I busted out of Shawshank like Andy Dufresne.
I wore these the day I left a horrible manager whose career I nuked on the way out, with receipts. I busted out of Shawshank like Andy Dufresne.
October 11, 2025 at 3:36 AM
“How often do you really look at a man’s shoes?”
I wore these the day I left a horrible manager whose career I nuked on the way out, with receipts. I busted out of Shawshank like Andy Dufresne.
I wore these the day I left a horrible manager whose career I nuked on the way out, with receipts. I busted out of Shawshank like Andy Dufresne.
"Age yourself with a movie you saw in theatres as a kid"
September 28, 2025 at 10:20 PM
"Age yourself with a movie you saw in theatres as a kid"
ANNOUNCEMENT AT 2PM
September 2, 2025 at 8:29 AM
ANNOUNCEMENT AT 2PM
Why do conservatives who are always making vaguely eugenicist/racist commentary turn out looking like they got stuck in the transporter pattern buffer for a few seconds too long?
Carl Stargher giving Taylor Swift relationship advice over here...
Carl Stargher giving Taylor Swift relationship advice over here...
August 27, 2025 at 1:25 AM
Why do conservatives who are always making vaguely eugenicist/racist commentary turn out looking like they got stuck in the transporter pattern buffer for a few seconds too long?
Carl Stargher giving Taylor Swift relationship advice over here...
Carl Stargher giving Taylor Swift relationship advice over here...
Google tried to pick an argument with me and lost.
August 27, 2025 at 12:28 AM
Google tried to pick an argument with me and lost.
"Can you hang on a minute, I have to swap batteries."
"Batteries... for?"
"Oh nothing... "
The battery pack:
"Batteries... for?"
"Oh nothing... "
The battery pack:
August 24, 2025 at 2:00 PM
"Can you hang on a minute, I have to swap batteries."
"Batteries... for?"
"Oh nothing... "
The battery pack:
"Batteries... for?"
"Oh nothing... "
The battery pack:
It feels like this, apparently:
August 8, 2025 at 1:58 AM
It feels like this, apparently:
I always carry my US Passport with me, but from now on I'm going to carry a copy of my ASVAB scores.... these ICE knobs are the guys who tried out for the military but couldn't get a passing score.
For reference, the Marine Corps passing score is 31.
How do you fail that !@$%ing hard at life?
For reference, the Marine Corps passing score is 31.
How do you fail that !@$%ing hard at life?
July 25, 2025 at 7:36 PM
I always carry my US Passport with me, but from now on I'm going to carry a copy of my ASVAB scores.... these ICE knobs are the guys who tried out for the military but couldn't get a passing score.
For reference, the Marine Corps passing score is 31.
How do you fail that !@$%ing hard at life?
For reference, the Marine Corps passing score is 31.
How do you fail that !@$%ing hard at life?
Can we talk about how Cher Horowitz got the I.T. guy from Nakatomi Plaza to design her wardrobe accessorizer?
Happy 30th CLUELESS!
Happy 30th CLUELESS!
July 19, 2025 at 2:22 PM
Can we talk about how Cher Horowitz got the I.T. guy from Nakatomi Plaza to design her wardrobe accessorizer?
Happy 30th CLUELESS!
Happy 30th CLUELESS!
COSMO: Remember, Marty, we were gonna change the world? Well, it got fucking stupid without our help.
July 2, 2025 at 7:40 PM
COSMO: Remember, Marty, we were gonna change the world? Well, it got fucking stupid without our help.
If by "another planet" you mean Los Angeles and New York, sure.
June 26, 2025 at 6:53 PM
If by "another planet" you mean Los Angeles and New York, sure.