Rubin Safaya
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safaya.cinemalogue.com
Rubin Safaya
@safaya.cinemalogue.com
Mal vivant. Tech devangelist. Critic. Misanthrope.

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Obligatory throwback to Grumpycat...
February 8, 2026 at 11:31 PM
There was a douchebro in high school who used to make fun of my thick Indian hair.

Now he has none. This is for you, Ryan.
December 22, 2025 at 11:47 PM
@todayshow.com website cowering at the feet of the Kartrashians... The rich trying to use the media as their personal PR management system is Exhibit A on why they just need to take their fragile fucking egos and go the fuck away forever.
November 29, 2025 at 2:31 PM
I love that if I type in "Colin Jost" into a search bar the first thing that comes up is Scarlett Johansson, not Colin Jost.
November 15, 2025 at 2:00 PM
Don’t boo… VOTE!
November 4, 2025 at 10:04 PM
We're in this phase of the wrong timeline now...
October 23, 2025 at 8:22 PM
Who robbed the Louvre, right answers only.
October 20, 2025 at 12:52 AM
“How often do you really look at a man’s shoes?”

I wore these the day I left a horrible manager whose career I nuked on the way out, with receipts. I busted out of Shawshank like Andy Dufresne.
October 11, 2025 at 3:36 AM
"Age yourself with a movie you saw in theatres as a kid"
September 28, 2025 at 10:20 PM
September 16, 2025 at 4:03 PM
WAT.
September 10, 2025 at 10:25 PM
ANNOUNCEMENT AT 2PM
September 2, 2025 at 8:29 AM
Why do conservatives who are always making vaguely eugenicist/racist commentary turn out looking like they got stuck in the transporter pattern buffer for a few seconds too long?

Carl Stargher giving Taylor Swift relationship advice over here...
August 27, 2025 at 1:25 AM
August 27, 2025 at 12:40 AM
August 27, 2025 at 12:40 AM
August 27, 2025 at 12:40 AM
August 27, 2025 at 12:40 AM
August 27, 2025 at 12:40 AM
Google tried to pick an argument with me and lost.
August 27, 2025 at 12:28 AM
"Can you hang on a minute, I have to swap batteries."

"Batteries... for?"

"Oh nothing... "

The battery pack:
August 24, 2025 at 2:00 PM
It feels like this, apparently:
August 8, 2025 at 1:58 AM
I always carry my US Passport with me, but from now on I'm going to carry a copy of my ASVAB scores.... these ICE knobs are the guys who tried out for the military but couldn't get a passing score.

For reference, the Marine Corps passing score is 31.

How do you fail that !@$%ing hard at life?
July 25, 2025 at 7:36 PM
Can we talk about how Cher Horowitz got the I.T. guy from Nakatomi Plaza to design her wardrobe accessorizer?

Happy 30th CLUELESS!
July 19, 2025 at 2:22 PM
COSMO: Remember, Marty, we were gonna change the world? Well, it got fucking stupid without our help.
July 2, 2025 at 7:40 PM
If by "another planet" you mean Los Angeles and New York, sure.
June 26, 2025 at 6:53 PM