she has pictures, she has memories, she owns other things from my childhood. i just wanted to fit in, i always have. all of my problems always correlate back to my late father. i was a daddy's girl through and through, and my life has gone downhill ever since he passed.

hell, just earlier today, my mom was laughing about my embarrassment and forced me to give her a thing from my childhood, because "it was all she had left of when i was a child." you mean when i was sweet, oblivious, and a complete idiot? when i still had my dad in my life?

commenting about how i dont take care of my messes, commenting about how i lie, commenting about how secretive i am, commenting about everything i do like im some animal on a documentary. i know im a pathetic fuck-up.

my sister does it too. they comment about my laziness and my incapability to do anything. they've been doing it for years, ever since i was a kid. commenting about my incapability to due school due to my learning disorder, commenting about how im always on devices, +

even when im upstairs, i still get anxious whenever i hear her yelling. i fidget, i bite the inside of my cheek, my posture goes rigid.

maybe it's cause i'm watching grey's anatomy and just saw someone getting their blood drawn in it..

like, for allergy testing or just blood work, or something else—doctors have always had to poke me in multiple places because where they had originally planned wouldn't work. like, even when i have no water for hours beforehand, it still doesn't work because they can't get the vein.

fanon*

i'm talking abt my opinion on how canon columbina is vs canon columbina but im not going to talk about it..

like nobody will agree with me. like gtfo. people should be allowed to have opinion's without getting harassed ☹️☹️

hmph

that's my girl