manic pixie cheese curl (pretend i tweeted this 10 years ago)

idea: meatloaf taco

just got my hair done so i’m going to be fucking unstoppable for 2-3 days

this too shall pass? more like this too shall ass……

(420k likes, 69k reposts, they change their minds and give the nobel peace prize to me instead)

what the community really needs is a tiny, tucked away park that only i know about

so these two are cousins, right

what we really need is a shazam app for movies

when they give you the tiny hospital gown and tell you to keep it open in the front

when you press the elevator button and it lights up and then the elevator reaches your floor and the button un-lights but the door doesn’t open so then everyone thinks “oh she didn’t press the button” as if you’re just standing there like a freaking idiot!!!!!

H A N K Y

googling “weapons movie 2025 zach cregger julia garner in theaters now” because googling just “weapons” will get you put on a list

(rockstar voice) hello bluesky how are we doing tonight

one day, the world's most perfect sink will be invented, and it will be done by a woman who just wants to wash her face