Ryan Syrek
@ryansyrek.bsky.social
70% film reviews, 15% politics, 10% jibber jabber, 5% grabassery.
If not for an overlong sequence in the “torture porn” subgenre, 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple may have a case for best horror sequel ever. It is relentlessly mean in service of a message about kindness, hope, and intelligent persistence. My review: thereader.com/2026/01/16/2...
Death metal drug commercial - The Reader
The last 20 minutes or so of this one could be watched on a loop for a few hours (or days) at a time without interruption.
thereader.com
January 16, 2026 at 6:08 PM
If not for an overlong sequence in the “torture porn” subgenre, 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple may have a case for best horror sequel ever. It is relentlessly mean in service of a message about kindness, hope, and intelligent persistence. My review: thereader.com/2026/01/16/2...
I'm willing — nay happy! — to enjoy freewheeling and mindless disaster movie nonsense. Sadly, in Greenland 2: Greenland Harder, the wheeling is not free. The disaster is minded. No thank you, please. My review: thereader.com/2026/01/09/g...
Googling “Greenland” right now will not bring up Greenland 2 showtimes - The Reader
The first Greenland was stupid-good. Greenland 2 is stupid-bland. This is the least controversial statement with the word Greenland this week.
thereader.com
January 9, 2026 at 6:38 PM
I'm willing — nay happy! — to enjoy freewheeling and mindless disaster movie nonsense. Sadly, in Greenland 2: Greenland Harder, the wheeling is not free. The disaster is minded. No thank you, please. My review: thereader.com/2026/01/09/g...
I've done it! I've narrowed 365 days of movie watchin' down to a top 10 and worst 5 films of 2025. I'm sure this won't be divisive at all and everyone will completely agree, as we all do about everything these days... thereader.com/2026/01/02/t...
The top 10 best (and 5 worst) movies of 2025 - The Reader
Get excited: Here is your chance to say "what an idiot" (highly likely) or "I totally agree" (almost impossible)!
thereader.com
January 2, 2026 at 4:20 PM
I've done it! I've narrowed 365 days of movie watchin' down to a top 10 and worst 5 films of 2025. I'm sure this won't be divisive at all and everyone will completely agree, as we all do about everything these days... thereader.com/2026/01/02/t...
We are in the midst of the Christmas fallout. Here is roundup of my reaction to films notable enough to tell you about but insignificant enough to not merit a full stand-alone review. It’s all I got you, and I don’t have the receipt. thereader.com/2025/12/26/m...
I saw 6 more movies and didn’t tell you (until now) - The Reader
Here is a roundup of six movies I saw fairly recently good enough to mention but not good enough to write a full review about. Enjoy!
thereader.com
December 26, 2025 at 8:19 PM
We are in the midst of the Christmas fallout. Here is roundup of my reaction to films notable enough to tell you about but insignificant enough to not merit a full stand-alone review. It’s all I got you, and I don’t have the receipt. thereader.com/2025/12/26/m...
Reposted by Ryan Syrek
He was despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief.
December 23, 2025 at 11:49 PM
He was despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief.
Each successive Avatar has been identical to its predecessor in every way but length: each is longer than the one before, like some cinematic witch’s curse. I may still be watching the new and simply disassociating to survive. My review: thereader.com/2025/12/19/a...
The last Avatar was all wet. This one is insanely dry. - The Reader
I don’t have anything original or interesting to say about the new Avatar, mostly because it is determined to say nothing original or interesting itself.
thereader.com
December 19, 2025 at 7:46 PM
Each successive Avatar has been identical to its predecessor in every way but length: each is longer than the one before, like some cinematic witch’s curse. I may still be watching the new and simply disassociating to survive. My review: thereader.com/2025/12/19/a...
The Secret Agent's universal acclaim from critics and audiences is wild. It is an overlong feature in a world beset by frayed attention and a complex takedown of authoritarian culture amid its recurrent rise. It’s so weird. And slow. And great. My review: thereader.com/2025/12/12/t...
Homework: The Motion Picture - The Reader
The Secret Agent demands a close reading and moves slowly enough for audiences to do just that.
thereader.com
December 12, 2025 at 8:33 PM
The Secret Agent's universal acclaim from critics and audiences is wild. It is an overlong feature in a world beset by frayed attention and a complex takedown of authoritarian culture amid its recurrent rise. It’s so weird. And slow. And great. My review: thereader.com/2025/12/12/t...
My review of Hamnet is (A) way too earnest, (B) somehow involves Netflix acquiring Warner Bros, and (C) made me almost as sad to write as the movie made me. I don't know, y'all, maybe I just need a hug? Read ye, read ye: thereader.com/2025/12/05/h...
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are sad - The Reader
Writer/director/editor/genius Chloé Zhao has crafted a two-hour cinematic elegy that is largely unparalleled (in my humble estimation).
thereader.com
December 5, 2025 at 8:34 PM
My review of Hamnet is (A) way too earnest, (B) somehow involves Netflix acquiring Warner Bros, and (C) made me almost as sad to write as the movie made me. I don't know, y'all, maybe I just need a hug? Read ye, read ye: thereader.com/2025/12/05/h...
Knives Out was good. Glass Onion was better. And Wake Up Dead Man is the best of all. The cast is crisper, the message is more meaningful, the humor is heightened, and the mystery is more meticulous. My full review: thereader.com/2025/11/28/w...
Confession indiscretion leads to transgression sessions - The Reader
Despite its rotund runtime, Wake Up Dead Man plays like a sprint, relentlessly surging forward with revelation after revelation.
thereader.com
November 28, 2025 at 5:20 PM
Knives Out was good. Glass Onion was better. And Wake Up Dead Man is the best of all. The cast is crisper, the message is more meaningful, the humor is heightened, and the mystery is more meticulous. My full review: thereader.com/2025/11/28/w...
Please remember that I really liked the first Wicked movie... Wicked: For Good is an abomination. This was all a spectacular waste of time with one good song. A song that isn’t included in this movie. My full review:
thereader.com/2025/11/21/w...
thereader.com/2025/11/21/w...
Movie about how a witch isn’t really bad is really bad - The Reader
This is the first movie in as long as I can remember where I cannot think of one nice thing to say about it.
thereader.com
November 21, 2025 at 10:14 PM
Please remember that I really liked the first Wicked movie... Wicked: For Good is an abomination. This was all a spectacular waste of time with one good song. A song that isn’t included in this movie. My full review:
thereader.com/2025/11/21/w...
thereader.com/2025/11/21/w...
Despite being a bit too sleepily distracted, Keeper has the ghostly goods. The ghouls that pop out of the woodwork before finally seeing the spotlight steal the show, as much as anything can steal the show from Tatiana Maslany. My full review: thereader.com/2025/11/14/k...
Keeper is a finder of losers and weepers - The Reader
The problem isn’t that Keeper isn’t good. It is. It’s that it isn’t even director Osgood Perkins' best movie this year.
thereader.com
November 14, 2025 at 8:25 PM
Despite being a bit too sleepily distracted, Keeper has the ghostly goods. The ghouls that pop out of the woodwork before finally seeing the spotlight steal the show, as much as anything can steal the show from Tatiana Maslany. My full review: thereader.com/2025/11/14/k...
If you don’t like the first 10 minutes of Predator: Badlands, a movie with a prominent and unforgettable high-five between a hand and a foot, you are gonna hate the whole durn thing. If you're into that though, buckle up for 2 hours of awesome! My review: thereader.com/2025/11/07/p...
What if the real prey we’re hunting is…love? - The Reader
Predator: Badlands is the best version of itself and the new standard bearer for a simplistic franchise that impossibly keeps getting better.
thereader.com
November 7, 2025 at 7:14 PM
If you don’t like the first 10 minutes of Predator: Badlands, a movie with a prominent and unforgettable high-five between a hand and a foot, you are gonna hate the whole durn thing. If you're into that though, buckle up for 2 hours of awesome! My review: thereader.com/2025/11/07/p...
Bugonia should be right up my alley. A tone-shifting “sci-fi black comedy” produced by Ari Aster, starring Landry from Friday Night Lights is a movie crafted using a Mad Libs written by my heart. I still don't know if I liked it. Here's a review anyway: thereader.com/2025/10/31/b...
Now you conspiracy me, now you don’t - The Reader
Say this much for Bugonia: It does not ambiguously leave things up to the viewer to decide.
thereader.com
October 31, 2025 at 12:06 PM
Bugonia should be right up my alley. A tone-shifting “sci-fi black comedy” produced by Ari Aster, starring Landry from Friday Night Lights is a movie crafted using a Mad Libs written by my heart. I still don't know if I liked it. Here's a review anyway: thereader.com/2025/10/31/b...
With A House of Dynamite, director Kathryn Bigelow and writer Noah Oppenheim – yes, I checked twice there was no “er” at the end – have delivered a top-notch ballistic-based bogeyman that is flawless right up until it isn’t. My full review: thereader.com/2025/10/24/h...
Need more to worry about? A House of Dynamite has you covered. - The Reader
It's a lot: a lot of information, a lot of great actors, a lot of heavy breathing (for audiences and actors). It is absolutely and completely exhausting.
thereader.com
October 24, 2025 at 3:49 PM
With A House of Dynamite, director Kathryn Bigelow and writer Noah Oppenheim – yes, I checked twice there was no “er” at the end – have delivered a top-notch ballistic-based bogeyman that is flawless right up until it isn’t. My full review: thereader.com/2025/10/24/h...
As one of the biggest haters of The Black Phone, I am here to tell you that Black Phone 2 is...good? Provided you see it as more homage than rip-off, this mashup of much better horror movies is lightyears better than its predecessor. My full review: thereader.com/2025/10/17/b...
Freddy Kreuger holds Camp Crystal Lake at the Outlook Hotel - The Reader
This is basically Friday the 13th set in The Shining with Nightmare on Elm Street 3: The Dream Warriors. That is not a complaint.
thereader.com
October 17, 2025 at 11:47 AM
As one of the biggest haters of The Black Phone, I am here to tell you that Black Phone 2 is...good? Provided you see it as more homage than rip-off, this mashup of much better horror movies is lightyears better than its predecessor. My full review: thereader.com/2025/10/17/b...
Hearing Nine Inch Nails blaring while watching as a glowing neon-red figure tries to hit a glowing neon-white figure with a triangle whilst avoiding being hit with a circle is oddly hypnotic and profoundly stupid. OK! Who is mad at that? My full Tron: Ares review: thereader.com/2025/10/10/t...
Pretty colors, pretty people, pretty stupid, pretty fun - The Reader
If it weren’t for the Leto-of-it-all, Tron: Ares would be a delightfully overbudgeted B-movie with a killer soundtrack and nothing to say.
thereader.com
October 10, 2025 at 5:21 PM
Hearing Nine Inch Nails blaring while watching as a glowing neon-red figure tries to hit a glowing neon-white figure with a triangle whilst avoiding being hit with a circle is oddly hypnotic and profoundly stupid. OK! Who is mad at that? My full Tron: Ares review: thereader.com/2025/10/10/t...
The Smashing Machine is basically like Rocky if instead of yelling “Yo, Adrian, we did it!” the hero just yells obscenities at her. It also seems to think the UFC is humanity's crown jewel. I have more mostly grumpy things to say in my full review: thereader.com/2025/10/03/t...
Rocky Balboring - The Reader
It's a laborious biopic, arguably cinema’s worst genre, that has an icky/misguided message and more jangly jazz than anyone should ingest.
thereader.com
October 3, 2025 at 12:07 PM
The Smashing Machine is basically like Rocky if instead of yelling “Yo, Adrian, we did it!” the hero just yells obscenities at her. It also seems to think the UFC is humanity's crown jewel. I have more mostly grumpy things to say in my full review: thereader.com/2025/10/03/t...
From frame one to the credits’ conclusion, One Battle After Another is a barn-burning riot that is equal parts political thriller and screwball bananas nonsense. And everyone loves it! Except for the people who are really, really, really going to hate it. My review: thereader.com/2025/09/26/o...
Everyone is gonna be totally chill about an Antifa-centric screwball comedy, right? - The Reader
Everything, everything, everything in One Battle After Another works, even when it shouldn’t.
thereader.com
September 26, 2025 at 3:14 PM
From frame one to the credits’ conclusion, One Battle After Another is a barn-burning riot that is equal parts political thriller and screwball bananas nonsense. And everyone loves it! Except for the people who are really, really, really going to hate it. My review: thereader.com/2025/09/26/o...
Him immediately creates a vibe of “uh oh.” And that’s not the good kind of “uh oh,” like “uh oh, this is scary.” This is “uh oh” like when a diaper-wearing toddler hides behind the couch for a minute. My full review: thereader.com/2025/09/19/h...
As a Chicago Bears fan, football is already scary enough - The Reader
A 96-minute demented Gatorade commercial that asks the important question: “Can every line of dialogue in an entire movie be bad?”
thereader.com
September 19, 2025 at 11:55 AM
Him immediately creates a vibe of “uh oh.” And that’s not the good kind of “uh oh,” like “uh oh, this is scary.” This is “uh oh” like when a diaper-wearing toddler hides behind the couch for a minute. My full review: thereader.com/2025/09/19/h...
I understand that the point The Long Walk is trying to make is, generally, a good one. But this kind of graphic cautionary tale just isn't gonna cut it anymore. Also, I'm one movie away from swearing a blood feud against the screenwriter. My full review: thereader.com/2025/09/12/t...
Things are bad, but would you like to feel worse? - The Reader
The point appears to be that authoritarian leadership that leads to widespread economic hardship and highly publicized violence is...bad...
thereader.com
September 12, 2025 at 4:53 PM
I understand that the point The Long Walk is trying to make is, generally, a good one. But this kind of graphic cautionary tale just isn't gonna cut it anymore. Also, I'm one movie away from swearing a blood feud against the screenwriter. My full review: thereader.com/2025/09/12/t...
Reposted by Ryan Syrek
Know your rights, Illinois.
Stay safe and stay informed.
Stay safe and stay informed.
September 6, 2025 at 7:40 PM
Know your rights, Illinois.
Stay safe and stay informed.
Stay safe and stay informed.
Maybe it is the shockingly poor pacing, the unclear motives of every supernatural baddie, the frequently dodgy acting, or the odd and unearned air of seeming pretentiousness, but if Last Rites is the end of The Conjuring, then…you know…cool? My review: thereader.com/2025/09/05/t...
A final fit of peek-a-boo - The Reader
This is about a demon mirror, and the climax is a physical fight with the mirror. Scary? No. One of funniest movies of the year? Yes.
thereader.com
September 5, 2025 at 5:09 PM
Maybe it is the shockingly poor pacing, the unclear motives of every supernatural baddie, the frequently dodgy acting, or the odd and unearned air of seeming pretentiousness, but if Last Rites is the end of The Conjuring, then…you know…cool? My review: thereader.com/2025/09/05/t...
This week's big screen choices aren't super great, and y'all seemed to like my last roundup of mini-reviews, so I did that again! I'm unoriginal, but I am trying to give you what you want! Here are 5 itty-bitty review-lets for you! thereader.com/2025/08/28/r...
I saw 5 more movies and didn’t tell you… - The Reader
Here are 5 movies that I either couldn’t, wouldn’t, or simply didn’t write a full review about because y'all liked it when I did this before.
thereader.com
August 28, 2025 at 9:46 PM
This week's big screen choices aren't super great, and y'all seemed to like my last roundup of mini-reviews, so I did that again! I'm unoriginal, but I am trying to give you what you want! Here are 5 itty-bitty review-lets for you! thereader.com/2025/08/28/r...
Non-urgent, non-breaking news: Spike Lee is good at directing movies, and Denzel Washington is good at acting. Just FYI: the fifth joint from the pair does not break their perfect streak, which spans four decades now. My full review of Highest 2 Lowest: thereader.com/2025/08/22/h...
The best news involving the word Washington this week - The Reader
Highest 2 Lowest may rank fifth out of five collaborations between Spike Lee and Denzel Washington. That is in no way an insult.
thereader.com
August 22, 2025 at 6:38 PM
Non-urgent, non-breaking news: Spike Lee is good at directing movies, and Denzel Washington is good at acting. Just FYI: the fifth joint from the pair does not break their perfect streak, which spans four decades now. My full review of Highest 2 Lowest: thereader.com/2025/08/22/h...
Reposting this because I watched Sorry, Baby AGAIN last night and have become an obsessive evangelical for this movie, and (B) Fridays are for movies. I didn't want you to think I forgot. Read this, then watch Sorry, Baby (or apparently I'll just keep coming after you). thereader.com/2025/08/14/s...
The apology that’s not coming - The Reader
I apologize if this review builds the movie up too much for you. I just loved it too much to pretend otherwise.
thereader.com
August 15, 2025 at 2:42 PM
Reposting this because I watched Sorry, Baby AGAIN last night and have become an obsessive evangelical for this movie, and (B) Fridays are for movies. I didn't want you to think I forgot. Read this, then watch Sorry, Baby (or apparently I'll just keep coming after you). thereader.com/2025/08/14/s...