Me when my world is crashing down: don't worry everyone we can bounce back

Me when the bus is going to be five minutes late: so basically I hate everything and everyone

Me, hanging out with some friends: yo, [my roommate] really looks like an English teacher
Roommate: wait one second let me get my cardigan
(returns with said cardigan)
Roommate: tada!
Friend, also drunk: Holy shit he's about to get pregnant and leave for the semester!
Roommate in question: