😄

🎶"Gavin, are you okay? You been hit by... a smooth criminal."

No need to move the inauguration inside due to freezing weather. The key to staying warm at the Capitol is to keep constantly moving, like so:

Has a nice ring to it.

Over the next four years, I'll only be referring to him as such, and never by his real name. Won't give this narcissistic egotist who slaps his last name on any gaudy property or product imaginable, the satisfaction.

Move over Valentine's Day, because January 6th is now the "day of love".

Agreed, not worth a stamp. But totally unrelated:

To all those burning the late night oil, just to make your bosses richer.

Shrewd negotiator.

So the backpack found in Central Park had Monopoly money in it, and McDonald's had the Monopoly sweepstakes game... why the shooter must be none other than:

As a fellow McDonald's fan, Trump has to pardon him.

The day after Easter, we'll hear that "he actually did it... the son of a bitch actually did it!"