Let me guess. We should be called Soviet Republic of Great Britain

Rotherham Zoo is genuine. FFS

The Simple Cremations tune is catchy

Don't Get Dune, Get Dom?

Dear Gemini, could you generate a 'Big Cats of Asia' area for my failing zoo? No you fucking can't. Piss off to Woburn if you want budget shit!!!

Ed Miliband would agree

Well done

This is coming from me, a person who is a (self proclaimed) maestro at destroying Ben (in PowerPoint form) when it comes to ill use of social media, but this is weak. Very poor. This person should be ashamed. Must try harder. I love you Ben...we will defeat these trolls as an entity. Xxxx

If I wanted to remind myself how crap the world is every minute I'd be a very depressed individual. Please let me have some fun in life

It's football. Soccer is for Americans who eat processed food and drink Gatorade

It's called football you goons

As annoying as he is, he wins games. Two saves today average Premier League keepers don't make.

It has ups and downs. Like life. It's a rollercoaster

And the uneducated electorate will continue to blame the councils. They're absolutely skint!!!

Mate. Pipe down. Watch ITV4 and think about your stair lift.