“Try feeling emotions that hit like a sledgehammer while everyone around you acts like you’re supposed to whisper” is the most unbelievably accurate thing I’ve read all week

Also yes I said victim because I don’t feel like a survivor yet. I still feel tormented. I hope one day I will be able to say I survived. 🥲

We torture ourselves with paranoid delusions and constant worry and fear. Of abandonment, of rejection, of pain although we continue to endure it. My gut instinct wants me dead. I cannot ever trust it.

I call and call jobs I’ve applied for every single day. Today I called HR three times at a place and the phone just rang with no answer. I’m about to just fucking go to a temp agency because I. Give. Up.

I mean, fuck. A therapist won’t even call me back. No one gives a fuck. No one wants to help me. I have to improve my life “on my own”? Bullshit. I have to rely on society to keep me afloat and society wants to watch me fucking burn and die.

7 fucking years ago today I went into treatment for the first time. I went again 5 years later. And now here I am, desperate for help again because I can’t handle life by myself apparently :) what the fuck

My bullshit 😂😂

🧼 🧹