Why the fuck is my da listening to cigarettes after sex

The other day I had a wee look at the Isle of Man from above.

Scientists have been positing what would happen if we combined the brain of the humble chimp with the body of the humble chimp, in a move critics are calling a "gross affront to God"

They should invent a cigarette for dogs

Dog stole my ma's dentures and literally looked like this

Deleted my Twitter because I'm sick to death of that prick. Now if I can make this feed as stupid as my last one I'll be flying.

Can NOT stop thinking about jay leno getting beat up by a mountain

Can't wait to cast off the shackles of twitter and cast on the shackles of Bluesky

The threat of winter is upon us and once more I find myself dancing the dance of bleeding the radiators then texting my dad what to do when there's no radiator bleeding... thing. Hole?

Hinge 100% shows your exactly who you like the look of just as you use your last like. Then you never see 'em again. No, I'm not paying for it.

I have entered the delirious stage of COVID and I've a hundred meetings and a handyman coming to fix the carbon monoxide alarm

Can't wait to offer absolutely nothing to another platform