Ay what the fuck. Why am I just seeing this?

Choke me, Daddy~

That's the end of my rambling, if you read through all of this, I am so sorry for taking up a lot of your time.

Looking at the clock, we're an hour away from the New Year in my timezone. So whoever is reading this, I hope you have a Happy New Year.

I genuinely do appreciate the apology, but I no longer want to talk and just want to move on from this. Again, I don't have any negative feelings towards this person as I have already moved on and will continue to do so with this New Year.

I also wish that no one hurts you the same way you hurt me.

Your other point that I've said said offensive things before is irrelevant. Sometimes I do say wild, out of pocket things. I won't deny that, but I would never say anything deliberately that I know would hurt someone on the same level it hurt me.

And if it had, I'm willing to take accountability.

Do I accept it?

Not really. I'm sorry that telling someone whose parent just passed away that "other people have dead moms" was a reference to a line from some random show that no one knew.

No one laughed either and it just made everything awkward after that. I'm glad that reference landed well.

What's crazy is that someone else said "Your Mom" as a response to a different question later in the night, but then quickly apologized which I appreciate.

At the time of this happening, I genuinely didn't expect an apology based on past experiences with said friend. Surprisingly, I did get one.

This person had known that the thing that makes me most vulnerable was one of the most important people in my life. Only to throw it back at my face just so they can make their quick quip.

I know that this is on a grander scale of things that I had no control in, but I still feel the guilt of letting it get to this point.

My family and I knew the day would come after we found out her condition while I was starting in High School.

I genuinely wish I could exaggerate, but I cried every literal day of October. After doctors had told us that she wouldn't make it to the end of the month, bring the family together before it's too late. To this day, I blame myself for almost everything that happened.

I want to state that if this was someone completely random, I could easily just say "fuck off" and move on with life. But coming from someone I trusted? Honestly felt like the biggest "Fuck you" I have ever felt in my life.

I had commented back saying "thanks dude, you know she just died" in a light tone.

What hurt the most was the response I got after saying that. A friend I considered close, part of a group of people who knew everything I was going through, said back to me that "other people have dead moms too."