There’s Maine, and then there’s Aroostook County. The largest and least populated county in Maine; almost seven thousand square miles of forest, logging roads, and paper mills fenced in by the Canadian border. It’s the last place you’d expect to host a fancy pants horse race, but a family of potato farmers decided they wanted to bring some of the elegance of Kentucky to the County–and in 1986, the Aroostook Derby played her first call.

THE LAURENTIAN ABYSS - With a long peal from a mighty conch shell, the final shift ends at the future site of Stellantis’ Laurentian Engine Works. Long lines of mer-folk, hardhat-wearing crustaceans, and kelpies behind the wheels of American automobiles pass through the checkpoint gates, uncertain of when – or if – they will return to finish construction on this state of the art facility.

by Squatchmerch Staff We all know Selkies, those based Celtic ladies who can shapeshift into seals, right? Everyone knows Selkies slay—but we interviewed our female readers to find out what their significant others have said about these Marine Mamas, and oh my god, I need to see the dentist I’ve been grinding my teeth so hard! Just check this out:

NEW ORLEANS, Lou. – It’s been a long year for former College Football star The Wendigo. The talented Right Guard from the Devil Lake College of Mining and Thaumaturgy was hyped as a first round draft prospect. But even with so many teams needing Offensive Line help, Wendigo wasn’t drafted at all. Some close to Wendigo blame anti-furry bigotry, but between his mind control powers and mastery of the North Wind, sports books were nervous that he would bring an unstable element to betting lines.

CLEAR LAKE, Iowa – In the wake of rumors that the Trump Administration intends to fully declassify files on the JFK, RFK, and MLK assassinations, watchdog groups and NGOs are looking for answers on one of the last remaining great American mysteries: the Day the Music Died. On a snowy February 3rd, 1959, a single engined Beechcraft 35 Bonanza aircraft left the municipal airport in Mason City, Iowa.