There's a man on this train who believes he's the messiah & wants everyone to bow, but he's on the A train. Doesnt breed confidence, If my savior has to take the A train to get to the destination... I'll take my chances

SAG email: Do Not Work notice...

Me: Way ahead of you

I was last wk years old when I found out the cartoon kid who pissed on everything was named Calvin AND that he was famous for something other than pissing on things

For anyone under 30, this is like R Kelly in your terms

Anywho I'll be at Rodneys tonight, 8pm

Every day that I get some spam bot on messenger saying it's going to delete my account I whisper to the universe "Please let it be true"

Three months ago, pop up out of chairs. Recently, no sudden movements. Retirement has come

Now I stand up with the patience of someone who's bones are made out of wicker

Plus side: When I stand up it looks like I'm always about to say something extremely profound

Pat Riley has to trade Jimmy to the Monstars to come out looking good now

The Jazz were the cuck in the corner watching the Lakers & Mavs have fun
Brought nothing but paperwork to this event

Rare footage of me getting through January

Jordan Poole dribbling reminds me of a granny running with no bra.
It's all over the place and if someone gets too close they might lose an eye

It just doesnt look safe
#nba

Hay un gallo que canta a las 430 de la tarde todo los dias al lado de la casa de mami y nunca me e identificado tanto con un animal

When the president is born in South Africa suddenly nobody cares about birth certificates anymore hmmmm🤔

If I've only seen you be funny when you were skinny and now you thicc
I don't trust that comedy, you an indoor cat now, too comfortable

NY woke up and did something with that face. A sneaky 55 degrees, I see you shining up the apple

Got on a packed subway car so quiet I could swear they were just talking about me

IG started showing me my own posts and it's like finally, an algorithm that gets me

If i had better ankles i could be a drug dealer. Like a today drug dealer
I love handshakes, I'd know all my clients birthdays, leave em little inspirational quotes in their bag like Tomorrow can always be a new beginning

I just don't have the breakaway speed needed, cursed by these weak ankles

If it wasn't for my weak ankles I think I'd make an excellent drug dealer

I'd always be the first one arrested putting on my ankle braces

I need new friends
Told my buddy how I like pigeons, like they see over the city & are cool with ppl
And he immediately goes, You know they're full of diseases
It's like yeah, I didn't say I was gonna fuck it
I like to feed them not start a family with one