or maybe some th*rapy instead lol

i really need to implement monthly crashout sessions so i don’t embarrass myself online like the last time 😒

what did i expect, what did i want from this interaction

now it will be awkward on top of everything else

this is so much worse turns out i can’t explain shit and it would seem like a me problem

should’ve went back to sleep

living life like we’re just roommates seems okay in other aspects, i can do my thing, but i want to be loved properly too, and where will i get that?

the only way to resolve is talking, but it didn’t really work last time. how can i raise the issue again if it didn’t work? i feel like an idiot for still being here

and it’s not like i do anything to fix it or try to lead by example, stopped trying months ago

and it hurts even more because nobody noticed i stopped, it’s just business as usual for them

can’t even really complain because the issue is so small

but it’s not small to ME

so i cry

and like, if this has been going on for years, what is the chance of anything changing now? either learn to live with it or leave and start from scratch, deal with uncomfortable questions, potentially lose friends… i just don’t want to do it

this hits hard because without my reason for crying i wouldn’t even have them

the cats followed me

so who cares, so what?

але вони сидять неподалік поки в мене ментал брейкденс 🖤