[misfortune cookie] that wasn't pork

everyone assumes my shirts are always covered in dandruff and that's fine I just let them because it's actually parmesan

the clash: should I stay or should I go now?
me: what'll happen if you go?
the clash: there will be trouble
me: and what'll happen if you stay?
the clash: it will be double
me: well I'm no genius but the answer seems pretty obvious to me

We are all God's children. Except for you, Jeff. You were adopted.

Goofing off in high school?

I would not trust the first person who called them "sneakers". What are you up to in those things?

judge: your record shows you're a repeat offender
me: a what?
judge: repeat offender
me: offender haha