Person / Robot
@robotperson.bsky.social
I am a cosmic neon pineapple building temples in the muse field. Where are you?
Whoever wrote Jingle Bell Rock: I will make sure the entire human race understands just what an absolute garbage horse Jingle Horse was, but in some catchy format that will reoccur annually forever.
December 1, 2025 at 5:53 AM
Whoever wrote Jingle Bell Rock: I will make sure the entire human race understands just what an absolute garbage horse Jingle Horse was, but in some catchy format that will reoccur annually forever.
No, of course I didn’t forget to wear a costume. I’m just dressed as all of MAGA’s good ideas.
October 31, 2025 at 9:10 PM
No, of course I didn’t forget to wear a costume. I’m just dressed as all of MAGA’s good ideas.
“The buck stops here” is now just
“Stop here, pay me bucks”
Thank you for your attention to this matter
“Stop here, pay me bucks”
Thank you for your attention to this matter
October 22, 2025 at 9:07 PM
“The buck stops here” is now just
“Stop here, pay me bucks”
Thank you for your attention to this matter
“Stop here, pay me bucks”
Thank you for your attention to this matter
Ruining the planet by immediately replying: ”cool, thx” every time I prompt a Gen AI tool
October 8, 2025 at 11:28 PM
Ruining the planet by immediately replying: ”cool, thx” every time I prompt a Gen AI tool
“Oh wow look at our spending, our family really can’t go out to eat so often at
restaurants!”
Our family, later that day, at the restaurants: “Yeah we really need to look at our spending more, cheers! Yes I agree. We are adults and smart aren’t we! Glad we solved this problem perfectly!”
restaurants!”
Our family, later that day, at the restaurants: “Yeah we really need to look at our spending more, cheers! Yes I agree. We are adults and smart aren’t we! Glad we solved this problem perfectly!”
October 7, 2025 at 2:16 AM
“Oh wow look at our spending, our family really can’t go out to eat so often at
restaurants!”
Our family, later that day, at the restaurants: “Yeah we really need to look at our spending more, cheers! Yes I agree. We are adults and smart aren’t we! Glad we solved this problem perfectly!”
restaurants!”
Our family, later that day, at the restaurants: “Yeah we really need to look at our spending more, cheers! Yes I agree. We are adults and smart aren’t we! Glad we solved this problem perfectly!”
Let’s be honest. Descending into sheer madness is probably an absolute blast. Like 100x more fun than psychologists will ever admit to us.
September 27, 2025 at 5:12 AM
Let’s be honest. Descending into sheer madness is probably an absolute blast. Like 100x more fun than psychologists will ever admit to us.
I’m the kind of person who knows if I tell myself that the stale leftover afternoon coffee in my coffeemaker is actually gourmet “cold brew” my silly brain will actually fall for it
August 27, 2025 at 10:31 PM
I’m the kind of person who knows if I tell myself that the stale leftover afternoon coffee in my coffeemaker is actually gourmet “cold brew” my silly brain will actually fall for it
I used to think “slander” was just a shortcut way of saying “salamander”, until the zoo gave me all those legal problems about spreading animal misinformation
August 2, 2025 at 1:15 AM
I used to think “slander” was just a shortcut way of saying “salamander”, until the zoo gave me all those legal problems about spreading animal misinformation
The uh.. moon? Yeah it’s in some sort of alignment. Oh, with one of the planets. No, wait, I think it’s like 3 of them. Neptune and those other ones around there. It means you gotta do some stuff but make sure it’s a good idea first? But if you don’t feel like it, that’s cool.
Oh and above all don’t
Oh and above all don’t
July 31, 2025 at 7:22 AM
The uh.. moon? Yeah it’s in some sort of alignment. Oh, with one of the planets. No, wait, I think it’s like 3 of them. Neptune and those other ones around there. It means you gotta do some stuff but make sure it’s a good idea first? But if you don’t feel like it, that’s cool.
Oh and above all don’t
Oh and above all don’t
Saying “but that’s cool” is officially a swear word.
July 31, 2025 at 6:56 AM
Saying “but that’s cool” is officially a swear word.
Not to get political but most so-called ice cubes are actually ice rectangular prisms and I’m not gonna stand for it anymore, whatever that means (I honestly don’t know what it means)
July 31, 2025 at 6:35 AM
Not to get political but most so-called ice cubes are actually ice rectangular prisms and I’m not gonna stand for it anymore, whatever that means (I honestly don’t know what it means)
It’s called the “lost and found”. But deep down we all realize that until someone shows up, the implied-by-its-own-naming convention prophecy will remain unfulfilled.
July 15, 2025 at 8:31 AM
It’s called the “lost and found”. But deep down we all realize that until someone shows up, the implied-by-its-own-naming convention prophecy will remain unfulfilled.
Well, you know what they say…
And so since we have now established that you already know what they say, I guess there’s not much point in trying to finish the rest.
And so since we have now established that you already know what they say, I guess there’s not much point in trying to finish the rest.
July 15, 2025 at 7:47 AM
Well, you know what they say…
And so since we have now established that you already know what they say, I guess there’s not much point in trying to finish the rest.
And so since we have now established that you already know what they say, I guess there’s not much point in trying to finish the rest.
Sorry I was late, my Uber driver took a wrong turn while texting his DoorDash driver to get him a sandwich that he saw trending on TikTok
July 15, 2025 at 5:18 AM
Sorry I was late, my Uber driver took a wrong turn while texting his DoorDash driver to get him a sandwich that he saw trending on TikTok
I was doing mad libs while hiking the other day when suddenly, out of the forest jumped a giant [thing] and I got really [adjective] by all the [verbs] it was doing.
July 15, 2025 at 4:37 AM
I was doing mad libs while hiking the other day when suddenly, out of the forest jumped a giant [thing] and I got really [adjective] by all the [verbs] it was doing.
I make sure every Internet app has as much info about me and my life as is possible
I think it’s just polite at this point
I think it’s just polite at this point
July 14, 2025 at 4:47 PM
I make sure every Internet app has as much info about me and my life as is possible
I think it’s just polite at this point
I think it’s just polite at this point
Okay okay, fine then.
“It ain’t so.”
There, did that somehow fix your whole thing there, Weezer? Huh, did it???
“It ain’t so.”
There, did that somehow fix your whole thing there, Weezer? Huh, did it???
July 14, 2025 at 5:10 AM
Okay okay, fine then.
“It ain’t so.”
There, did that somehow fix your whole thing there, Weezer? Huh, did it???
“It ain’t so.”
There, did that somehow fix your whole thing there, Weezer? Huh, did it???
The letter H in the word “ghost” being invisible is actually some pretty good foreshadowing about the whole overall concept.
July 14, 2025 at 5:08 AM
The letter H in the word “ghost” being invisible is actually some pretty good foreshadowing about the whole overall concept.
What’s the deal with people who sometimes think I’m wrong and them being wrong about that all the time?
July 14, 2025 at 5:06 AM
What’s the deal with people who sometimes think I’m wrong and them being wrong about that all the time?
I dunno Elvis,
We understand the inconvenient nature of your complaint
But no one forced you to check into a placed called the “Heartbreak Hotel”.
I'm not really sure how you expected to feel about the whole thing. But all the sad sounding song stuff feels like a total unforced error on your part.
We understand the inconvenient nature of your complaint
But no one forced you to check into a placed called the “Heartbreak Hotel”.
I'm not really sure how you expected to feel about the whole thing. But all the sad sounding song stuff feels like a total unforced error on your part.
July 14, 2025 at 5:05 AM
I dunno Elvis,
We understand the inconvenient nature of your complaint
But no one forced you to check into a placed called the “Heartbreak Hotel”.
I'm not really sure how you expected to feel about the whole thing. But all the sad sounding song stuff feels like a total unforced error on your part.
We understand the inconvenient nature of your complaint
But no one forced you to check into a placed called the “Heartbreak Hotel”.
I'm not really sure how you expected to feel about the whole thing. But all the sad sounding song stuff feels like a total unforced error on your part.
Horton hears a Who let the dogs out?
July 14, 2025 at 5:00 AM
Horton hears a Who let the dogs out?
I have a “conspiracy” theory.
I believe it’s this thing where several people get together to organize some secret plan.
Everyone thinks I’m crazy but I’m going to prove it’s true one day.
I believe it’s this thing where several people get together to organize some secret plan.
Everyone thinks I’m crazy but I’m going to prove it’s true one day.
July 14, 2025 at 4:59 AM
I have a “conspiracy” theory.
I believe it’s this thing where several people get together to organize some secret plan.
Everyone thinks I’m crazy but I’m going to prove it’s true one day.
I believe it’s this thing where several people get together to organize some secret plan.
Everyone thinks I’m crazy but I’m going to prove it’s true one day.
The first time I heard the term “god-fearing” and it was being used as a compliment, I thought “wow, that’s the level of respect you’d expect the devil would really be looking for”
July 14, 2025 at 4:56 AM
The first time I heard the term “god-fearing” and it was being used as a compliment, I thought “wow, that’s the level of respect you’d expect the devil would really be looking for”
The vibes go way off when Shaggy sings “it wasn’t me” and so you ask him: “ok, buster, who was it?” and he gets all weird and freezes up and gets awkward and stuff.
July 14, 2025 at 4:55 AM
The vibes go way off when Shaggy sings “it wasn’t me” and so you ask him: “ok, buster, who was it?” and he gets all weird and freezes up and gets awkward and stuff.
Wow, the more I’m learning about all the heinous and barbaric acts they have been responsible for over many tens of thousands of years, I really regret associating with so many human beings.
July 14, 2025 at 4:52 AM
Wow, the more I’m learning about all the heinous and barbaric acts they have been responsible for over many tens of thousands of years, I really regret associating with so many human beings.