Pinned
My Dysons are hungry!
If I was captain of some Starfleet kind of ship, everyone onboard would wear a cardigan, sweatpants, and slippers.
December 26, 2025 at 7:32 PM
If I was captain of some Starfleet kind of ship, everyone onboard would wear a cardigan, sweatpants, and slippers.
The little known “shadow” amendment to the US Constitution describes how every Stephen King story must become a movie.
December 24, 2025 at 12:10 AM
The little known “shadow” amendment to the US Constitution describes how every Stephen King story must become a movie.
I like to boot my PC only to get 20 GBs of updates and power it down for another 6 months.
December 21, 2025 at 7:24 PM
I like to boot my PC only to get 20 GBs of updates and power it down for another 6 months.
Identifiable only by sas and sus.
December 21, 2025 at 5:01 PM
Identifiable only by sas and sus.
My plan worked.
I’m home early and never really left.
I’m home early and never really left.
December 21, 2025 at 4:18 AM
My plan worked.
I’m home early and never really left.
I’m home early and never really left.
I made my first million by creating Santa wrestling.
December 20, 2025 at 3:57 AM
I made my first million by creating Santa wrestling.
The unsung heroes unite.
December 18, 2025 at 5:10 PM
The unsung heroes unite.
She gets louder in my head every day past 40.
December 13, 2025 at 3:12 AM
She gets louder in my head every day past 40.
There are no less than 20 underground petting zoos in your neighborhood.
December 11, 2025 at 4:35 AM
There are no less than 20 underground petting zoos in your neighborhood.
Bidet sniper. Aim for the middle.
December 10, 2025 at 5:57 PM
Bidet sniper. Aim for the middle.
Save the spiders for they are but a few hundred trillion.
December 8, 2025 at 10:22 PM
Save the spiders for they are but a few hundred trillion.
Even in my 40s, I can still appreciate a very fine yo mama so fat joke.
December 8, 2025 at 9:19 PM
Even in my 40s, I can still appreciate a very fine yo mama so fat joke.
🎵…and I’m dancing with my gun, oh oh oh🎵
December 5, 2025 at 9:05 PM
🎵…and I’m dancing with my gun, oh oh oh🎵
I’m still waiting on a billionaire seductress to come by and scoop me up.
December 5, 2025 at 6:43 PM
I’m still waiting on a billionaire seductress to come by and scoop me up.
Feeling cute, might expel exoskeleton.
November 30, 2025 at 8:04 PM
Feeling cute, might expel exoskeleton.
All I ask is that my mate is part Darth Vader, part Phantom of the Opera, part Bigfoot, and part Shredder from TMNT. How hard is that?
November 25, 2025 at 8:37 PM
All I ask is that my mate is part Darth Vader, part Phantom of the Opera, part Bigfoot, and part Shredder from TMNT. How hard is that?
AI is perfect
November 15, 2025 at 3:46 AM
AI is perfect
What does it say about you if you like black coffee?
November 11, 2025 at 3:46 AM
What does it say about you if you like black coffee?
On this magical day, tax accountants can be lawyers and lawyers can be tax accountants.
October 31, 2025 at 5:02 PM
On this magical day, tax accountants can be lawyers and lawyers can be tax accountants.
Coffee needs to come with a warning label “You may scream at people you care about”.
October 29, 2025 at 8:21 PM
Coffee needs to come with a warning label “You may scream at people you care about”.
The pizza is here. Healing can begin.
October 24, 2025 at 11:44 PM
The pizza is here. Healing can begin.
Sir Clapsalot
October 20, 2025 at 10:16 PM
Sir Clapsalot
I have spent 1/3 of my net wealth and given half my soul, but I still don’t understand how “bees knees” became a reference.
October 11, 2025 at 3:26 AM
I have spent 1/3 of my net wealth and given half my soul, but I still don’t understand how “bees knees” became a reference.
*At Heaven’s Gate*
“Show me your Darth Vader socks and you’re in.”
“Show me your Darth Vader socks and you’re in.”
October 7, 2025 at 10:27 PM
*At Heaven’s Gate*
“Show me your Darth Vader socks and you’re in.”
“Show me your Darth Vader socks and you’re in.”