@roblovesbagels.bsky.social
Once this gets adopted in the US, I'm suing everybody.
December 16, 2025 at 3:01 PM
Once this gets adopted in the US, I'm suing everybody.
Easy as pie? HA! Baking is the hardest part of cooking.
December 13, 2025 at 3:02 PM
Easy as pie? HA! Baking is the hardest part of cooking.
I'm a big "cute jacket" guy.
December 12, 2025 at 3:04 PM
I'm a big "cute jacket" guy.
I don't stop at red lights after midnight.
December 11, 2025 at 3:02 PM
I don't stop at red lights after midnight.
Yo, you know Nick Fuentes got a little dry dick.
December 10, 2025 at 3:01 PM
Yo, you know Nick Fuentes got a little dry dick.
For a one-time fee of fighting in a war, you can get into every National Park for free for the rest of your life.
December 9, 2025 at 3:00 PM
For a one-time fee of fighting in a war, you can get into every National Park for free for the rest of your life.
If you ever hear me say "welfare queen," just know that I'm referring to Elon Musk.
December 8, 2025 at 3:01 PM
If you ever hear me say "welfare queen," just know that I'm referring to Elon Musk.
As a Cloud Dancer American, I think I kinda like the Pantone Color of the Year.
December 7, 2025 at 3:00 PM
As a Cloud Dancer American, I think I kinda like the Pantone Color of the Year.
Any man who uses social media is disgusting, and any man who doesn’t is happily married.
December 6, 2025 at 3:01 PM
Any man who uses social media is disgusting, and any man who doesn’t is happily married.
It’s crazy we’re this deep into the internet, and men still aren’t suspicious when a model with 3 followers slips into their DMs. No attractive woman has ever spoken to you in your life. You are about to be robbed by a man in Cambodia.
December 5, 2025 at 3:03 PM
It’s crazy we’re this deep into the internet, and men still aren’t suspicious when a model with 3 followers slips into their DMs. No attractive woman has ever spoken to you in your life. You are about to be robbed by a man in Cambodia.
Recent studies indicate that more women than men are earning advanced degrees and pursuing professional occupations. Of course, men are falling behind; all our hobbies cause brain damage: football, drinking beer, listening to Joe Rogan ...
December 4, 2025 at 3:02 PM
Recent studies indicate that more women than men are earning advanced degrees and pursuing professional occupations. Of course, men are falling behind; all our hobbies cause brain damage: football, drinking beer, listening to Joe Rogan ...
If you like hearing your wife talk for a week about being pounded by 8 to 12 inches, then you'll love snowstorms.
December 3, 2025 at 3:03 PM
If you like hearing your wife talk for a week about being pounded by 8 to 12 inches, then you'll love snowstorms.
The White House has plans to host a UFC fight in 2026. It will be the closest Trump has been to a rear-naked choke since his Epstein days.
December 2, 2025 at 3:02 PM
The White House has plans to host a UFC fight in 2026. It will be the closest Trump has been to a rear-naked choke since his Epstein days.
The best way I can describe being an adult is that Christmas transforms from a payday to a bill.
December 1, 2025 at 4:03 PM
The best way I can describe being an adult is that Christmas transforms from a payday to a bill.
Fox News needs to buy a second color of foundation.
November 30, 2025 at 3:00 PM
Fox News needs to buy a second color of foundation.
Is anyone interested in buying a 2007 Bachelor of Science Degree? NEVER USED. Asking price is $50,000 OBO.
November 29, 2025 at 3:01 PM
Is anyone interested in buying a 2007 Bachelor of Science Degree? NEVER USED. Asking price is $50,000 OBO.
I know what it's like to come out of the closet because once I had to tell my parents that I did improv.
November 28, 2025 at 3:03 PM
I know what it's like to come out of the closet because once I had to tell my parents that I did improv.
I don't want to brag, but I just signed a four-figure deal with the Employment Development Department.
November 26, 2025 at 6:52 PM
I don't want to brag, but I just signed a four-figure deal with the Employment Development Department.
Your dad's Facebook algorithm.
November 25, 2025 at 4:48 PM
Your dad's Facebook algorithm.
I miss the old subway takes where I take your backpack and run just before the doors close.
November 24, 2025 at 11:26 PM
I miss the old subway takes where I take your backpack and run just before the doors close.
If the government takes taxes directly out of your check, you are not a capitalist. Shut up while you're on the clock.
November 23, 2025 at 9:21 PM
If the government takes taxes directly out of your check, you are not a capitalist. Shut up while you're on the clock.
When I don't notice that my girl got a root retouch ...
November 22, 2025 at 3:57 PM
When I don't notice that my girl got a root retouch ...
I went and did this thread on stage.
November 21, 2025 at 3:02 PM
I went and did this thread on stage.
If there are infinite numbers, then there's gotta be a number named Ted. Eventually.
November 20, 2025 at 3:04 PM
If there are infinite numbers, then there's gotta be a number named Ted. Eventually.
All I want for Christmas is the Epstein list.
November 19, 2025 at 3:05 PM
All I want for Christmas is the Epstein list.