If you start The Apartment at 10:07pm on Xmas eve, Xmas day starts at the exact moment Shirley MacLaine falls out of the apartment window.

Ben Affleck leans in,
whispers through the plastic wrap—
“Who are you, really?”

I have an ear worm my brain came up with years ago:

Boutros Boutros-Ghali
Riding in the park
Boutros Boutros-Ghali
Goes out after dark
Boutros Boutros-Ghali
Looking for some sauce
Boutros Boutros-Ghali
Watch out for that horse!

for some reason he always cycles into the back of a horse.

The correct response is to put a cup of tea next to it when you see it is "in the middle of its cycle" so that when it has finished it knows you were there.

Back in the never, never - the long before times - folk would gathered in disused buildings wearing luminous clothing to read our tribal myths on these things called Tamagotchis

Both

Wow. We had this and now I want it again.

Doesn’t Dracula carry his grave around with him as luggage?

Great article