Well, kind of! The evangelical ones think their god is coming back to take them to heaven and destroy the planet, so, yeah, not much investment in a future earth.

Chuck “Vichy” Schumer was not made for these times.

Fuck you. March.

“Look, you don’t understand! We did everything we could! You should have seen how we posted! The memes! The snark! It was beautiful! But it wasn’t enough, in the end. Who could have known?”

Who isn’t “seeming to notice” in this scenario? Seems like it is you, Senator.

Housebroke Nation

Please, sir, speak to your Senator!

Man, I hope it is strongly worded!

Trump is just doing what leopards do when they come to eat your face. People should reach out to the leopards and point out which faces are the most delicious. More efficient.

Trump is doing what you do after you invade a foreign country and defeat them. Crazy, I know, but the mayor should reach out and offer to show them which citizens to hang and which ones to put into work camps. There are always some generals who don’t want to scorch ALL of the earth.

If only we could negotiate with this rabid pack of jackals, perhaps show them more efficient ways to bite us and which body parts are tastiest.

The glee is palpable.

“Look, I know we failed. Repeatedly. Miserably. Catastrophically. To the point where it looks like we have no idea what we are doing. And maybe we destroyed the country a little bit. But if you give us this one more chance . . .”

Ah, “illegal”, you say. Oh good,