That night, the house lay still.

Ana shifted under the cool cotton sheets, her hand brushing the space beside her where warmth used to be. Faint footsteps drifted from the hallway—measured, rhythmic. Joe was pacing again.

#WIPSnips

Thank you for the warning...I checked my subscription and everything is the same. I pay monthly, perhaps that makes things different. I will keep an eye on this over the next few months to ensure they don't bump my subscription.

Thanks for sharing. After reading, I still think that opening with the ominous line works and is a stronger hook right off the bat...try it on and see how you like the flow and if it supports your vision for the story.

My subjective opinion is that the intro would be more gripping if you opened with the last three lines and then went into the exposition. Just a thought, i am naive to what comes after though so take it with salt.

That's a fair assessment. I agree that 100% of stories do not fit into one bucket, and some will call for different narrative styles and techniques. I find that I try to translate into third person in my head. It's probably just my conditioning to third person narrative.