Told my mom and sister (on Medicare and Medicaid respectively) that I hope they enjoyed their real healthcare this year since next year will bring only vibe checks and juice cleanses.

Hi! I'm a Capricorn. Have an appointment with the alchemist tomorrow. How many mouse toes, drops of opossum blood and ladybug oil should I bring? It's for a sore throat. As we lost all our health insurance under Trump, what would the sacrificial offering to Dr. Oz and the oligarchy be approximately?