I can feel it. Each day, harder. Each moment harder to get through.
It's hard to start anything.
It's hard to do anything.
I can't find diversion. The burning, the hurt grows so strong. Harder to manage. Harder to deal with.
But I will.
I promised Tasha
I can feel it. Each day, harder. Each moment harder to get through.
It's hard to start anything.
It's hard to do anything.
I can't find diversion. The burning, the hurt grows so strong. Harder to manage. Harder to deal with.
But I will.
I promised Tasha
So I crawled out of bed and logged into VRChat.
I stood vigil by Tasha's memorial until 02:38.
60 days feels like no time at all, and forever.
So I crawled out of bed and logged into VRChat.
I stood vigil by Tasha's memorial until 02:38.
60 days feels like no time at all, and forever.
My will is eroded by pain.
My heart is scarred by people I trusted.
My body is weathered by time.
I don’t know why I’m still here.
My will is eroded by pain.
My heart is scarred by people I trusted.
My body is weathered by time.
I don’t know why I’m still here.
I had a nightmare that I'd died, and... had failed.
I'd failed to be good enough.
I'd failed to do enough.
I was told that I would not be permitted to join Tasha in the afterlife.
I had to turn and walk away into eternity, alone.
I can't get back to sleep.
I had a nightmare that I'd died, and... had failed.
I'd failed to be good enough.
I'd failed to do enough.
I was told that I would not be permitted to join Tasha in the afterlife.
I had to turn and walk away into eternity, alone.
I can't get back to sleep.
"No," I whispered with a faint, broken smile. "It only looks like I'm doing better. I’ve just learned to bleed where no one can see. People get weary of sorrow that lingers. But mine hasn't left me yet."
"No," I whispered with a faint, broken smile. "It only looks like I'm doing better. I’ve just learned to bleed where no one can see. People get weary of sorrow that lingers. But mine hasn't left me yet."
Give it a read. Please re-post.
I think this is more important now, than ever before.
www.deviantart.com/tcpolecat7/j...
Give it a read. Please re-post.
I think this is more important now, than ever before.
www.deviantart.com/tcpolecat7/j...
She fought Colo-rectal cancer for 3.5 years.
I was there for the entire thing.
From diagnosis.
To surgery.
To radiation.
To chemo.
To more chemo.
To Clinical trial.
To receiving the terminal diagnosis.
And I held her as she died.
She wouldn't let me go with her.
But I would have.
She fought Colo-rectal cancer for 3.5 years.
I was there for the entire thing.
From diagnosis.
To surgery.
To radiation.
To chemo.
To more chemo.
To Clinical trial.
To receiving the terminal diagnosis.
And I held her as she died.
She wouldn't let me go with her.
But I would have.
On June 26, 2025 at 02:38, TC "Tasha" Polecat..
20 year friend, and 10 year roommate, passed away in my arms.
My soul has been bleeding ever since.
The depression is settling in.. the numbness has faded and reality is asserting itself.
Rest, my dear.
I'll be along, soon enough.
On June 26, 2025 at 02:38, TC "Tasha" Polecat..
20 year friend, and 10 year roommate, passed away in my arms.
My soul has been bleeding ever since.
The depression is settling in.. the numbness has faded and reality is asserting itself.
Rest, my dear.
I'll be along, soon enough.
How.. did they get inside my head?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=PrDz...
How.. did they get inside my head?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=PrDz...
For those that have what they need, I am very happy for.
We are weavers who take what pieces of time, warmth, and love that can be spared for us and try and weave a blanket to fend off the cold of the world.. our blankets are coming up a little thin.
For those that have what they need, I am very happy for.
We are weavers who take what pieces of time, warmth, and love that can be spared for us and try and weave a blanket to fend off the cold of the world.. our blankets are coming up a little thin.
www.youtube.com/shorts/0UgFV...
Can anyone say he wasn't right?
www.youtube.com/shorts/0UgFV...
Can anyone say he wasn't right?
Bleak.
Cold.
They want us silenced.
They want us removed.
They want us dead.
And now, the Reich has taken command, yet again.
My insurance has turned me away, too.
No gender affirming care for me.
I don't feel seen.
I don't feel heard.
I wonder if I am even here, at all.
Bleak.
Cold.
They want us silenced.
They want us removed.
They want us dead.
And now, the Reich has taken command, yet again.
My insurance has turned me away, too.
No gender affirming care for me.
I don't feel seen.
I don't feel heard.
I wonder if I am even here, at all.
Out of love and respect, we drop it, when told.
Out of love and respect, we still worry about what happened.
I do not know what happened.
I will not pry.
But if any of you need me..
I'm right here.
Out of love and respect, we drop it, when told.
Out of love and respect, we still worry about what happened.
I do not know what happened.
I will not pry.
But if any of you need me..
I'm right here.
Going through the closets in which you hid all the things that hurt you... all the things that caused you problems.. doing that for 53 years of concealed trauma and pain?
OWCH.
But clearing the closets makes more room for new things.
It makes room for love.
Going through the closets in which you hid all the things that hurt you... all the things that caused you problems.. doing that for 53 years of concealed trauma and pain?
OWCH.
But clearing the closets makes more room for new things.
It makes room for love.
Now, his nervous system is fried.. Parkinson's has robbed him of mobility, and affects his cognition.
He has prostate cancer.
The nerves that drive his heart are scorched.
AO is a teratogen.
I'm next, it seems.
Now, his nervous system is fried.. Parkinson's has robbed him of mobility, and affects his cognition.
He has prostate cancer.
The nerves that drive his heart are scorched.
AO is a teratogen.
I'm next, it seems.
Today, my friend..brother.. sister asked to go back to the VA hospital's ER.
Cancer fills their lungs with fluid. They drown, on dry land.
Blessings to you, Sis. Fight long. Fight HARD.
I will fight at your side, to the very end.
Today, my friend..brother.. sister asked to go back to the VA hospital's ER.
Cancer fills their lungs with fluid. They drown, on dry land.
Blessings to you, Sis. Fight long. Fight HARD.
I will fight at your side, to the very end.
Mr. Takei, I am new to the platform.
Recently joined Blue Sky.
Recently began my Trans journey.
Bless you, Mr. Takei for all you have done. You are a hero for LGBTQ+
And you will forever be this stunningly attractive gent.
Yes, we still get flustered over this.
Mr. Takei, I am new to the platform.
Recently joined Blue Sky.
Recently began my Trans journey.
Bless you, Mr. Takei for all you have done. You are a hero for LGBTQ+
And you will forever be this stunningly attractive gent.
Yes, we still get flustered over this.