Anime-style cat boys just don't do it for me. If it ain't got a snout, I want out!

Ref sheet post

Weddings are great. Not only did I get married, I also got access to a legion of hot dudes (groomsmen) committed to doing my every whim (talking to my extended relatives so I didn't have to).

Goddamn I love artificial flavors. Pumpkin spice lattes, banana Runts, "BBQ" chips, I will eat that shit like it's my last meal. Nature simply cannot compete.

Umami? I'll pass, I prefer dishes with lots of udaddy.

Trying to break my lurker habits of scrolling past everything without any kind of interaction.

How am i supposed to resist this stupid toony twink

"Yeah? You want to say that to my face?" I then refer the offending person to a crudely drawn self-portrait on my butt.

Can I redo my first post on social media? I want to save my gems for when the algorithm realizes how rad I am.

"He's literally me," I say, pointing at a white bunny. He is being used as a urinal. My fiancé looks at me with concern.