I love my husband @vern-mcd.bsky.social
January 1, 2026 at 9:39 AM
I love my husband @vern-mcd.bsky.social
band-aid? uh, no, I’m pretty sure they’re doing just fine on their own
January 1, 2026 at 9:36 AM
band-aid? uh, no, I’m pretty sure they’re doing just fine on their own
tonight I said “I’m going to make hummus” and then did the traditional first step: microwaved an ice cube
December 27, 2025 at 4:52 AM
tonight I said “I’m going to make hummus” and then did the traditional first step: microwaved an ice cube
when your partner is sad, or upset, or otherwise feeling down, and they communicate that to you in subtle, indirect ways that you pick up on because you know them so well.
that is called Morose Code.
that is called Morose Code.
December 17, 2025 at 10:26 PM
when your partner is sad, or upset, or otherwise feeling down, and they communicate that to you in subtle, indirect ways that you pick up on because you know them so well.
that is called Morose Code.
that is called Morose Code.
there is no reason for an advertisement for iced tea to be a full 30 seconds long. we all know what iced tea is.
December 17, 2025 at 9:40 PM
there is no reason for an advertisement for iced tea to be a full 30 seconds long. we all know what iced tea is.
the leaf goes in the can
December 15, 2025 at 8:52 PM
the leaf goes in the can
not to brag, but I just peer pressured the federal government into changing their soup requirements.
be the change you want to see in the world.
be the change you want to see in the world.
December 11, 2025 at 5:49 PM
not to brag, but I just peer pressured the federal government into changing their soup requirements.
be the change you want to see in the world.
be the change you want to see in the world.
@vern-mcd.bsky.social pop quiz! what is this?
November 30, 2025 at 2:08 AM
@vern-mcd.bsky.social pop quiz! what is this?
my husband just asked me if my brother-in-laws New Years Eve party is on December 31st
November 25, 2025 at 11:42 PM
my husband just asked me if my brother-in-laws New Years Eve party is on December 31st
I wish there was something like laser eye surgery for the digestive tract where I could just digest things normally all the time instead of having to take probiotics everyday
October 28, 2025 at 7:19 AM
I wish there was something like laser eye surgery for the digestive tract where I could just digest things normally all the time instead of having to take probiotics everyday
when the ballgame so stressful you gotta hit em with the rally glasses
October 28, 2025 at 5:46 AM
when the ballgame so stressful you gotta hit em with the rally glasses
I think I might have a shower with a block of tofu when I get home
October 21, 2025 at 11:09 PM
I think I might have a shower with a block of tofu when I get home
cartilage? I hardly know her!
October 14, 2025 at 12:00 AM
cartilage? I hardly know her!
this is a true story.
I’ve been really tired recently, because I haven’t been sleeping well, because I’m having really vivid and disruptive dreams, because I’m being deprived of oxygen in the night, because my cat has been sleeping on my throat.
I’ve been really tired recently, because I haven’t been sleeping well, because I’m having really vivid and disruptive dreams, because I’m being deprived of oxygen in the night, because my cat has been sleeping on my throat.
October 11, 2025 at 4:24 AM
this is a true story.
I’ve been really tired recently, because I haven’t been sleeping well, because I’m having really vivid and disruptive dreams, because I’m being deprived of oxygen in the night, because my cat has been sleeping on my throat.
I’ve been really tired recently, because I haven’t been sleeping well, because I’m having really vivid and disruptive dreams, because I’m being deprived of oxygen in the night, because my cat has been sleeping on my throat.
“for my knees, should I use the hand cream or the foot cream?” - my husband
October 5, 2025 at 10:58 PM
“for my knees, should I use the hand cream or the foot cream?” - my husband
when the oven beeps mid exorcism
October 1, 2025 at 12:03 AM
when the oven beeps mid exorcism
7 minutes in heaven with a sprig of parsley
September 29, 2025 at 1:30 AM
7 minutes in heaven with a sprig of parsley
this might surprise some of you but...you can drive near leaves in any brand of car
September 26, 2025 at 3:34 PM
this might surprise some of you but...you can drive near leaves in any brand of car
blood is thicker than water but peanut butter is thicker than blood
September 26, 2025 at 12:20 AM
blood is thicker than water but peanut butter is thicker than blood
one room temperature sausage
September 18, 2025 at 12:23 AM
one room temperature sausage
don’t worry: it’s not saliva, it’s condensation
September 1, 2025 at 8:54 PM
don’t worry: it’s not saliva, it’s condensation
I’m like a reverse hot dog (the bun and the meat are switched)
August 12, 2025 at 6:01 AM
I’m like a reverse hot dog (the bun and the meat are switched)
women only want one thing
August 12, 2025 at 6:00 AM
women only want one thing
a red microwave is still a microwave
August 9, 2025 at 6:44 PM
a red microwave is still a microwave
a fun and good name I came up with: Detritus McBrambles
August 5, 2025 at 2:30 PM
a fun and good name I came up with: Detritus McBrambles