If I vent to my friends about it, it feels like I’m trying to guilt them for being better off.

In many ways, I’m glad my friends can’t relate. But in others, I feel so lonely because no one in my circles share this experience and I can’t stop wondering if it’s my fault I’m in so much debt. Maybe it is??

I don’t think I’m actively suicidal, but I do feel like the only way out of my debt is to die and that I will never be able to pay it all back no matter how hard I try.

Sometimes I feel really jealous of my friends whose families were able to help them financially and who weren’t in debt from the day they turned 18. I hate when I’m jealous of my friends for not struggling like I did, it makes me feel gross and ugly.

But realistically I don’t know how many meals I’d have to skip to pay off my $80k student debt and my much more reasonable, but still high credit card debt.