hey sexy do you come here often

Not really. You didn't know me that much and, besides, I did kill people, unlike you.

[He wipes the tears staining Xichen's cheeks with his thumbs.]

Do not dwell too much on what you could've done differently. I know for a fact, Huan-ge did the best he could and that counts for something, right?

I want to take care of my A-Huan. No matter what it is, I will do it— except talking to your shufu. We don't want him to have a stroke.

. . . He is worried about you.

You know, I sometimes wished someone would be there for me when I was in burial mounds. But I kept pushing everyone away, in spite of that.

Now I see you like this and, well, I can't stand seeing you rot away like this.

[He finally cups his face and turns his head up to look into his puffy eyes.]

He wants that man to shine again, he wants to see a genuine smile grace his lips, his eyes sparkle with mirth.]

I regret that.
I am here for you now, Huan-ge. I hope I'm not too late.

Let yourself be taken care of, I promise, I will be gentle with your heart. As gentle as I can.

[Tiny smooch on the top of his head. What else could he say?

Yes.
I'm sorry, I'm really sorry.

[Oh, how painful it is to hear him sob and choke out words like that. He knew he was suffering greatly.]

I am sorry that, on that day, nobody was there to lift you into their arms they way you lifted others into yours.

"Cold-blooded murderer?" Was your intention to kill them, or were you trying to help? You try to see the good in everyone, Huan-ge, but is that a fault? Can you really blame yourself for being optimistic?

[His arms cradle him tighter against his chest.]

For starters, you could stop blaming yourself for everything that has happened! It is hard, I know.

[Places a soft kiss on his forehead.]

My sweet A-Huan, why do you insist on hurting yourself? Haven't you been hurt enough?

. . .

[How can he answer the question? It is not everyday he finds himself with a bawling man in hid arms, and he was already inept with words per se.]

You're still young, gege. There are memories waiting to be made.
They will heal your wounds, but the scars will always stay.

[Oh, that breaks his heart.

He is glad, however, that he was able to breach those walls Xichen had raised around himself.

He is quick to press the man into his chest, wrapping his arms around his frame like a protective shell. He caresses his back, smooching the top of his head.]

It'll be okay.

But /I/ want to take care of /you/.

Listen to me carefully, A-Huan. Xichen-ge, Zewu-jun! I will not let you disrespect the man I love like this.

[He places a kiss on Xichen's forehead, then one on his lips, even if dry.
Thumbs rub over hollow, pale cheeks.]

Can't this one choose for himself who to be with? I believe I'm blessed to be with you.

[His hands are caressing Xichen's sides gently, handling him with care.]

But, for now, let's get you cleaned up. How about a warm bath? We can be in silence, if you wish.

I guess I will have to stick around and find out.

[He hates seeing him like that, but he knows he can't make him stop hurting with a simple snap of his fingers. Lan Xichen feels deeply.]

I love your heart. I love your mind.
I'm not afraid of your worst.

[. . .]

There's people who love you, WangJi, Lan laotou. . . /I/ love you.
There's a lot you can still do, there's so much goodness in your heart. Will you let it go to waste?

[Pulls back to look into those sweet, sad eyes.]

If we are talking about it being your fault... I can understand you feel like it was.
I know what it means to fail the people you love.

[Playing with his hair gently.]

You can try your best, try to be righteous, but there's things that are simply out of your control.