Home improvement retailers decline comment.

#comedy #satire #fakenews #halloween #christmas #holidaydecor

The latest in executive orders.

#comedy #satire #fakenews #biden #trump #politics #thanksgiving #lent

#comedy #satire #fakenews #trump #education #adhd #concentration #camp

So we beat on, boys against the milkshake, borne back ceaselessly into the yard

Zelenskyy says forces plan to "make Swiss cheese" out of the enemy.
#comedy #satire #ukraine #switzerland #russia #war #cheese #theonion

Your own personal Jesus.

#comedy #satire #AI #jesus #christianity #theonion

Jay Leno recovering after driving steam-powered pennyfarthing off cliff

Hire me, @theonion.com !

thank you spotify for enabling me to inject trains more deeply into my senses

(this playlist has nothing to do with trains)

RFK Jr. speaks like Lee Harvey Oswald shot Katharine Hepburn instead

My Bluesky debut comes right on the heels of another exciting announcement:

Dyson reveals urinal that spins piss right out of the fucking air

Hire me, @theonion.com !