My black books were supposed to hold all the happy memories that I made though my journey, not the falling actions.

I’ve come up with so many ways to go through with it but somehow it’s delayed because of those moments of pure happiness before crashing right back to square one just days later because of my overthinking

These past six months were supposed to be about me thinking about my future but instead it’s just been worrying about every single mistake I’ve made in the past and now I have nothing and nobody to show for it because everyone I ever cared about didn’t feel the same way towards me

Am I actually happy like I don’t even know where I stand in life anymore idk if I’m content idk if I’m being left out idk if anyone is genuine with me anymore I just wanna shut down and not have to think anymore because thinking for others is what got me here or maybe not I just don’t know anymore