David Witte
@realdcwitte.bsky.social
Cybersecurity veteran, poet, satirist, and part-time field reporter from the Republic of Banana. I write what Congress forgets, what farmers know, and what the chicken saw.
Happy Valentine’s Day
THE TUGBOTTOM PAPERS Dispatch No. 9
The Tugbottom Valentine’s Dance and Other Scheduling Conflicts In which courtship is simple, and priorities are not
open.substack.com
February 14, 2026 at 7:49 AM
Happy Valentine’s Day
Friday the 13th in the Republic of Banana. President Flannoggin assures the nation nothing is wrong. Tugbottom rereads last week’s warning and waits for the explanation to finish. The names are fictional. The patterns are not.
New Dispatch Saturday.
dedubu.substack.com
#FridayThe13th #Satire #
New Dispatch Saturday.
dedubu.substack.com
#FridayThe13th #Satire #
February 13, 2026 at 5:00 PM
Friday the 13th in the Republic of Banana. President Flannoggin assures the nation nothing is wrong. Tugbottom rereads last week’s warning and waits for the explanation to finish. The names are fictional. The patterns are not.
New Dispatch Saturday.
dedubu.substack.com
#FridayThe13th #Satire #
New Dispatch Saturday.
dedubu.substack.com
#FridayThe13th #Satire #
What is Tugbottom Dispatch?
Saturday: Tugbottom Dispatch. President Flannoggin speaks in declarations. Tugbottom translates. The names are fictional. The patterns are not. He listens, lets it finish, and writes it down anyway.
Dedubu.substack.com
Saturday: Tugbottom Dispatch. President Flannoggin speaks in declarations. Tugbottom translates. The names are fictional. The patterns are not. He listens, lets it finish, and writes it down anyway.
Dedubu.substack.com
February 13, 2026 at 5:39 AM
What is Tugbottom Dispatch?
Saturday: Tugbottom Dispatch. President Flannoggin speaks in declarations. Tugbottom translates. The names are fictional. The patterns are not. He listens, lets it finish, and writes it down anyway.
Dedubu.substack.com
Saturday: Tugbottom Dispatch. President Flannoggin speaks in declarations. Tugbottom translates. The names are fictional. The patterns are not. He listens, lets it finish, and writes it down anyway.
Dedubu.substack.com
Valentine’s Day in Washington apparently requires a parliamentarian.
Dispatch No. 9 drops Saturday.
Bring flowers. And ethics definitions.
dedubu.substack.com
Dispatch No. 9 drops Saturday.
Bring flowers. And ethics definitions.
dedubu.substack.com
David C. Witte | Substack
Cybersecurity veteran, poet, satirist, and part-time field reporter from the Republic of Banana. I write what Congress forgets, what farmers know, and what the chicken saw. Click to read David C. Witt...
dedubu.substack.com
February 13, 2026 at 3:25 AM
Valentine’s Day in Washington apparently requires a parliamentarian.
Dispatch No. 9 drops Saturday.
Bring flowers. And ethics definitions.
dedubu.substack.com
Dispatch No. 9 drops Saturday.
Bring flowers. And ethics definitions.
dedubu.substack.com
Valentine’s Day began as a third-century saint’s feast.
Romance showed up later. Chaucer sent flowers.
Then the professionals arrived.
Hallmark, industrializing devotion.
A quiet holy day became a multi-billion-dollar love festival.
20% history.
80% commerce.
Which explains the card aisle.
Romance showed up later. Chaucer sent flowers.
Then the professionals arrived.
Hallmark, industrializing devotion.
A quiet holy day became a multi-billion-dollar love festival.
20% history.
80% commerce.
Which explains the card aisle.
Poetry Wednesday: Valentine’s Day for the 31%
A quiet tribute to the art of being unattached on the loudest romantic holiday of the year.
open.substack.com
February 12, 2026 at 7:22 PM
Valentine’s Day began as a third-century saint’s feast.
Romance showed up later. Chaucer sent flowers.
Then the professionals arrived.
Hallmark, industrializing devotion.
A quiet holy day became a multi-billion-dollar love festival.
20% history.
80% commerce.
Which explains the card aisle.
Romance showed up later. Chaucer sent flowers.
Then the professionals arrived.
Hallmark, industrializing devotion.
A quiet holy day became a multi-billion-dollar love festival.
20% history.
80% commerce.
Which explains the card aisle.
Poetry on Wednesdays.
Tugbottom Papers on Saturdays.
One listens.
One pokes.
Both live here:
dedubu.substack.com
Tugbottom Papers on Saturdays.
One listens.
One pokes.
Both live here:
dedubu.substack.com
David C. Witte | Substack
Cybersecurity veteran, poet, satirist, and part-time field reporter from the Republic of Banana. I write what Congress forgets, what farmers know, and what the chicken saw. Click to read David C. Witt...
dedubu.substack.com
February 10, 2026 at 5:04 PM
Poetry on Wednesdays.
Tugbottom Papers on Saturdays.
One listens.
One pokes.
Both live here:
dedubu.substack.com
Tugbottom Papers on Saturdays.
One listens.
One pokes.
Both live here:
dedubu.substack.com
This saga continues
THE TUGBOTTOM PAPERS Dispatch No. 8
After the Shuffle, the Silence In which efficiency arrives carrying a clipboard
open.substack.com
February 7, 2026 at 5:54 PM
This saga continues
Some songs don’t just play. They float. This poem comes from that quiet drift where words arrive without urgency and meaning doesn’t need to be held. It isn’t an argument or a conclusion—just a moment of stillness as everything moves.
Signal in the Static
Words fall loose from glowing screens,
open.substack.com
February 2, 2026 at 7:03 AM
Some songs don’t just play. They float. This poem comes from that quiet drift where words arrive without urgency and meaning doesn’t need to be held. It isn’t an argument or a conclusion—just a moment of stillness as everything moves.
Reposted by David Witte
Mothers, hide your Overton Windows! A secretive effort is at work to convince courts the US is legally under "invasion."
MAGA loyalists have pushed this fringe legal theory for years. Now, it's the linchpin of Trump's mass deportation campaign and his extraordinary threats to suspend habeas corpus.
MAGA loyalists have pushed this fringe legal theory for years. Now, it's the linchpin of Trump's mass deportation campaign and his extraordinary threats to suspend habeas corpus.
NEW: The Trump administration is using the claim that immigrants have “invaded” the country to justify possibly suspending habeas corpus, part of the constitutional right to due process.
A faction of the far right has been building this case for years.
By @mtredden.bsky.social
A faction of the far right has been building this case for years.
By @mtredden.bsky.social
The “Invasion” Invention: The Far Right’s Long Legal Battle to Make Immigrants the Enemy
The Trump administration is using the claim that immigrants have “invaded” the country to justify possibly suspending habeas corpus, part of the constitutional right to due process. A faction of the f...
www.propublica.org
May 23, 2025 at 2:03 PM
Mothers, hide your Overton Windows! A secretive effort is at work to convince courts the US is legally under "invasion."
MAGA loyalists have pushed this fringe legal theory for years. Now, it's the linchpin of Trump's mass deportation campaign and his extraordinary threats to suspend habeas corpus.
MAGA loyalists have pushed this fringe legal theory for years. Now, it's the linchpin of Trump's mass deportation campaign and his extraordinary threats to suspend habeas corpus.
🧠 Education: The True Rebellion
Influencers sell dreams; educators build futures. Teachers, librarians, & professors expand minds—unsung heroes, not viral stars. Memes persuade, but critical thinking feeds the soul. Scholars & scientists advance knowledge with quiet, vital work. #EducationMatters
Influencers sell dreams; educators build futures. Teachers, librarians, & professors expand minds—unsung heroes, not viral stars. Memes persuade, but critical thinking feeds the soul. Scholars & scientists advance knowledge with quiet, vital work. #EducationMatters
May 9, 2025 at 3:26 PM
🧠 Education: The True Rebellion
Influencers sell dreams; educators build futures. Teachers, librarians, & professors expand minds—unsung heroes, not viral stars. Memes persuade, but critical thinking feeds the soul. Scholars & scientists advance knowledge with quiet, vital work. #EducationMatters
Influencers sell dreams; educators build futures. Teachers, librarians, & professors expand minds—unsung heroes, not viral stars. Memes persuade, but critical thinking feeds the soul. Scholars & scientists advance knowledge with quiet, vital work. #EducationMatters
Reposted by David Witte
Jesus didn’t say “Bless the empire.”
He said: Forgive. Feed. Be humble. Go
He blesses the peacemaker, not the showman.
Drop the act.
Pray like He taught us.
Mean it.
#PrayerNotPerformance #SermonOnTheMount #JesusSaidIt
He said: Forgive. Feed. Be humble. Go
He blesses the peacemaker, not the showman.
Drop the act.
Pray like He taught us.
Mean it.
#PrayerNotPerformance #SermonOnTheMount #JesusSaidIt
May 6, 2025 at 1:30 AM
Jesus didn’t say “Bless the empire.”
He said: Forgive. Feed. Be humble. Go
He blesses the peacemaker, not the showman.
Drop the act.
Pray like He taught us.
Mean it.
#PrayerNotPerformance #SermonOnTheMount #JesusSaidIt
He said: Forgive. Feed. Be humble. Go
He blesses the peacemaker, not the showman.
Drop the act.
Pray like He taught us.
Mean it.
#PrayerNotPerformance #SermonOnTheMount #JesusSaidIt
Reposted by David Witte
Fun fact: the ASCII code for “X” is 88. And guess who else liked 88? That’s right — Hitler.
(88 = H H = Heil Hitler, for the blissfully unaware.)
So if someone’s dropping a bunch of edgy “X”s in weird places, maybe don’t assume it’s just a cool design choice. Context is everything.
(88 = H H = Heil Hitler, for the blissfully unaware.)
So if someone’s dropping a bunch of edgy “X”s in weird places, maybe don’t assume it’s just a cool design choice. Context is everything.
March 17, 2025 at 10:37 PM
Fun fact: the ASCII code for “X” is 88. And guess who else liked 88? That’s right — Hitler.
(88 = H H = Heil Hitler, for the blissfully unaware.)
So if someone’s dropping a bunch of edgy “X”s in weird places, maybe don’t assume it’s just a cool design choice. Context is everything.
(88 = H H = Heil Hitler, for the blissfully unaware.)
So if someone’s dropping a bunch of edgy “X”s in weird places, maybe don’t assume it’s just a cool design choice. Context is everything.
Beneath the weight of books and loans,
The student struggles, skin and bones.
A future promised, bright and near,
Now shadowed by a growing fear.
For every dollar stripped away,
From learning’s light, from brighter day,
The banks grow larger, bloated, grand,
Too big to fail, they rule the land.
January 18, 2025 at 3:55 AM
Beneath the weight of books and loans,
The student struggles, skin and bones.
A future promised, bright and near,
Now shadowed by a growing fear.
For every dollar stripped away,
From learning’s light, from brighter day,
The banks grow larger, bloated, grand,
Too big to fail, they rule the land.
Reposted by David Witte
To each his own, Muskrump 〰️AdminJenn 🤷🏼♀️
January 13, 2025 at 11:30 PM
To each his own, Muskrump 〰️AdminJenn 🤷🏼♀️
Reposted by David Witte
News media is full of shit--they are already bending the knee (to suck dick) for Trump because they are afraid. Liberal media/social media outlets that aren't going to fight aren't worth your time. They want your your click, but they offer nothing. WE offer you a community of activists who will act.
January 9, 2025 at 2:23 AM
News media is full of shit--they are already bending the knee (to suck dick) for Trump because they are afraid. Liberal media/social media outlets that aren't going to fight aren't worth your time. They want your your click, but they offer nothing. WE offer you a community of activists who will act.