my job has forced me to be vigilant with time zones, but with my new knowledge i am now cursed with having to tolerate other people being bad at them. ignorance was truly bliss

vibes are “getting a loud environment warning on my watch due to ‘abolish ICE’ chants” and they are IMMACULATE

my favorite work activity is deciding what incredibly niche emoji reaction i should use on my coworkers’ messages

whoever decided unnaturally crunchy food should be sold at theaters needs to be kicked out of the industry

to the person who drew a frownie face on hr’s slide deck during the zoom presentation on the terrible new raise structure, you’re my hero

made a sandwich and finished the loaf of break, pack of deli meat, and pack of sliced cheese all at once. i haven’t felt this high of a high since october

i’d watch the oscar’s every year if they just mic up kieran culkin the entire time like they do nfl players

i just sent a teams message saying “circling back” unironically and of my own free will. someone take me out back with a shotgun now

fuck a star sign, what random ass piece of paper do you use as a bookmark?

i think it says a lot about me that most of my weekly annoyance is due to monday night football pushing jeopardy back 2.5 hours

was there some law passed that you have to line up in the wrong line at costco gas and pull the pump all the way around your car and in the way of the passing lane? i just finished inching my way through 5 of these idiots and MY GOD

there’s nothing more satisfying that a commentator biased against your team having to eat it when they win decisively 😌