Breaking news:

Shocking new research has shown that watching press conferences causes headaches, nausea, and malaise. This exhaustive, credible study had a sample size of one and is currently under peer review. #tylenoldoesntcauseautism

Pure joy.

Who dares disturb my slumber?!

Zachary: I had a really weird dream that you went semi crazy and had a whole menagerie of animals in the living room.
Me: Like what?
Zac: Capybaras
Me: That doesn’t really sound outside the realm of possibility for me.

I hated The Emperor’s New Clothes as a kid. I could not accept that it was possible. Even now that we’re living it, it doesn’t feel like it should be. #signalgate

My favorite tinfoil #severance theory is that Ricken and his friends are goats. #severancememes

I just saw a bumper sticker on an old van that said “No seatbelts. We die like real men.”

I thought: “Stupidly and in a completely preventable way?”

I’m not sure it’s the flex they think it is.

That was a deliberate word choice. #starwars #rebel #howdemocracydies

Someone just asked me if I was a librarian and that might be the greatest style compliment I’ve ever had.

Even a broken clock is right twice a day. 🤷🏻‍♀️