I’m gonna go over there an lock in.
(Me about to fart in the green room.)

I bet whoever came up with that show Severance was a blackout drunk.

I’m in real fried chicken in a bag phase in my life.

I did it all for the gnocchi.

Honestly there’s just not enough podcasts. You should start one.

In some alternate universe there’s a version of Eminem’s “Stan” where I’m writing to Ronald McDonald.

Mothers, teach your daughters about Judith beheading Holofernes.
#themoreyouknow