I SEE THE VISION

R O T U N D

THE ORB

I'm a mess. I'm depressed. I don't look good. I don't feel good. I'm NOT good.

Yes I'm A Mess, No I have no S On My Chest... I've Got Stress Blowing Up My Head, And I Spent Last Night Blowing Up My Life, But I Like Myself Like This...

I Like Myself Like This...

All for what? Pity? Help? Attention? No! I do it because I HAVE nothing else! At this point it's all I know! I've hardly ever said anything about this sudden "regression" I'm going through, but truth be told, I'm just scared! Scared of EVERYTHING. Scared of myself! I don't know how to live!

Too hard even, I've had metaphorical bones broken, my soul shattered, and everything put under scrutiny again. People treat me like nothing more than a toy it feels... I feel horrible, day in day out. I don't post, I don't talk, I don't message, I do nothing. I sit here, and wallow in sadness...

Over the last 4 in specific, I've burned a lot of bridges, I've panicked, I've lost my mind. I... truly, TRULY lost what it meant to "be me" anymore. I've started to regress, talk less, find less people to interact with. Partially because I've been pushed so hard by others.

Then, I made a comeback. Made new friends, broke my shell, talked to people, had my existence rectified and noted by friends among me. People CARED. I WAS real. I always was, but people doubted it. Thought I was a figment of someone's imagination... yet, here i am 6 years later.

For years that's what I knew. One or two small, tiny servers where everyone was happy. Everyone could chill and have fun. Then, I was taken into bigger ones. My existence doubted, my happiness drained as I was pushed away. For another year, that's how I was left. Sad, defeated, hopeless.

That comic sent me dreams of life, happiness undivided, it's still going to this day for that matter, but. Not the point. It introduced me to friends I would've never met outside of servers I found, servers where that comic was our special interest.

I'm a god damn mess, I always have been. Ever since 2018 or so, when I first got "personal internet access" from my parents. Finally given a phone of which I could use on my own for my own things. I used it to search, find a comic I would love all my life.

Oh shi, Happy Birthday!

God damn hackers... always fun.

Beyond agreeable.

He is green for an amazing reason. That being pear.