cat coded beagle huh..

im just so fucking sad. i want to cry and im so close to it but i dont even have the energy to do it, i cant fathom doing another 5 hours (minimum) (bc ive been staying late 1-1.5 hours every shift this week)

like between me just messing up on simple things and my coworker micromanaging me and the shit atmosphere at work because everyone's quitting, i don't want to do it anymore. i want to go home and sleep. even more than i did last night because of my flare up, which is STILL going

it feels so awful to have to put my foot down and say no, enough is enough, i cant do it. because it just sounds like im being a big baby about things when i rarely throw in the towel and i dont WANT to do this. i have no control over it. but i cant push myself beyond limits ive already exceeded

like yes i want to hang out. more than anything. but my body sucks and i overdid it by doing things that able bodied people do on a daily w/o issue. and now i have to cancel on plans /i/ initiated because i cant predict when these flares hit + now i feel like shit mentally AND physically

i will say. i miss my black and blonde hair so bad </333

update: she came back this morning and is doing great !! im so happy 😭🫶

theyll be going to an emergency vet overnight since shes still not out of the woods, but even with the couple of scares she gave me under anesthesia, im hopeful for her outlook. sweet dog deserves it

my last meal before the extraction was a whole bag of crazy bread last night and i am feeling biblical levels of greed

like thanks for checking on me ig but it feels like it's only just to see if im making it tomorrow. all it takes is one dog to headbutt me or trash on me and itll be over and then youll REALLY not have me working with you

im reminded of how i get when i get drunk. i get stupid and lovey and already immediately bombarded hubby with (slurred) affection the second he opened his eyes