I should have stopped the other day to wash my car. She’s old and broken, I thought, no need when the whole city is a gravel swamp.

But no culture buries their dead dirty, and I may have to send her to her resting place with that last indignity. I’m sorry, Mathilde. I’m so sorry.

Moving day…
Go to FreshCo.
Buy a pack of 38c ramen.
Snag three boxes.
Repeat.

Today’s Leo horoscope:

The idealized version of a relationship fades into reality. People are complex, and relationships evolve when you allow for their imperfections. Growth often comes from embracing the real, messy truth.

Today’s earworm that the gruel I call a brain cooked up itself. Ahem. On a loop:

Freddie Mercury: 🎼If I’m not back again this time tomorrow
Cary Grant in Cary Grant’s voice, but sung: 🎼Cary Graaant, Cary Graaaant!

Can anyone get in touch with There, I Ruined It to make this for me?

It's so embarrassing to read a book. You should already know the information that's in there

My coworker offered me some “uhmaaaayyhzing” coffee creamer. It wasn’t until I’d slugged a bunch into my fresh coffee that I noticed it was sugar-free, as in an aspartame shitstorm.

I finished it, which I feel deserves me a fresh coffee that’s ONLY bean water and oat milk. I like my misery brew.

Starting my time here with my favourite meme of all time. I love you, Carl. :<>