I’ve been thinking of this marketplace listing I found nonstop so yall get to witness it too

I feel like I’ve fallen up more staircases than the ones I’ve fallen down.

Nothing could have prepared me for the sheer relief of finally being done with finals after having to take a delayed one cause I ended up incredibly sick the original day it was supposed to be.

Sometimes I think about the time my dm ruled that a human mouth was a viable container for create food and drink and it was later used to cause a character to suffocate as several pounds of food instantly appeared while they were speaking.

Sometimes I wish we lived in a cyberpunk dystopia cause the lights would be pretty.

If I jump off a bridge and do a flip will one of you guys catch me before I hit the ground?

Y’know if gods were real why won’t any of them accept my challenges to fist fight them. Are they scared?

You ever just see a sign telling you not to do something that you think should be common sense. Like, I never thought about it before but now I’m really wondering what would happen if I stood on an active deep fryer.

You ever go to eat a mozzarella stick but then as you swallow you realize the cheese is still attached and now you’re choking

If I drink Ammonia and then Bleach can I breathe poisonous gas like a dragon?

I eat spicy food not because I like the taste but because I need to prove to evolution that making peppers hot as a defense mechanism was stupid.

If anyone makes fun of me i’ll bring back the plague