this is a job for Big Apple

i believe in it but also im lazy and forgetful so i don't really do it myself

here picrew :3
picrew.me/en/image_mak...

HYDRATION UPON YE

im rotting i think ive been rotting since the day i was born if youre my mama i think there is an infection deep in my bones there is something so inherently wrong with me i think there is a cancer in the very core what makes me me and it will never go away i will never be whole and it's your fault

fuck im so tired im so tired i want it to stop my mind hurts all the time its all fucked up and you know what i don't think it *is* wrong of me to say its YOUR FAULT!!!!! YES MORE THAN EVEN MY ASSAULTERS!!!! she made the wound but you fucking tore it open again and again and again and let it fester

i hate you i hate you so much do you know how fucking much of a dickhead you have to be to have me hate you more than the FUCKING PEDO I WAS A PERSONAL VICTIM OF i hate you so fucking much i hope you die i hope you get dementia and rot away in a nursing home just like grandma the kid toucher

matter fact you made it worse!!! you told me it wasn't a big deal i was overreacting "oh shes family you have to forgive her" BITCH FOR TOUCHING A KID???? ME YOUR KID ME!!! YOUR KID!!!! YOUR KID WAS BEING TOUCHED AND YOU TOLD THEM IT WAS NOTHING

you knew i was getting groped you knew for all of the years!!! yes years!!!!! that it happened and i came to you first because i thought you'd understand as a woman AND MY MAMA that i was being harmed and you did nothing!!!

im so fucking pathetic you mean to say i'm scared of a hug? but its not the fact that its the hug its the fact that she keeps forcing it on me and either laughs or says im a bad person or overreacting when i tense up i have come to intrinsically associate her with fear and discomfort and hurt

im so tired of being the bigger person why does my mama always get excused for making me feel so bad all the time i hate myself so much i cant pray it away and i cant just stop having clinical depression + likely autism/ptsd

why does my mama keep touching me why does my best friend never listen to me why do i always have to be the bigger person!!! i would crash out and start throwing things but i don't even have the energy to leave my bed i haven't stepped foot anywhere besides my bedroom and the bathroom in a week

help its been beatboxing

ou uuhhhh oouuughh my stomach is making weird noises i don't think it's a good idea to jump straight into this after going like a week fasting or staying under 500