Silly Things My Husband Said
@quotesbymyhusband.bsky.social
I’m a wife with a husband who says the most profound and ridiculous things.
Pinned
“You know the difference between being brave and being foolish? Success rate.” #sillythingsmyhusbandsaid
“Relax! Relax. Let a fart out. Jesus.”
#silythingsmyhusbandsaid
This while I was having a very anxious morning. 😆
#silythingsmyhusbandsaid
This while I was having a very anxious morning. 😆
May 1, 2025 at 1:03 AM
“Relax! Relax. Let a fart out. Jesus.”
#silythingsmyhusbandsaid
This while I was having a very anxious morning. 😆
#silythingsmyhusbandsaid
This while I was having a very anxious morning. 😆
“Love is like the worst game of Russian roulette because if you lose you don’t even have the decency of being dead.”
#sillythingsmyhusbandsaid
#sillythingsmyhusbandsaid
May 1, 2025 at 1:02 AM
“Love is like the worst game of Russian roulette because if you lose you don’t even have the decency of being dead.”
#sillythingsmyhusbandsaid
#sillythingsmyhusbandsaid
May 1, 2025 at 1:01 AM
My husband and I are trying to get pregnant. Before taking any tests, I have been wondering if I might be preggo but hadn’t had any morning sickness yet and he said:
“Stop being so anxious to throw up!”
🤣🤣🤣🤣
“Stop being so anxious to throw up!”
🤣🤣🤣🤣
January 31, 2025 at 4:30 PM
My husband and I are trying to get pregnant. Before taking any tests, I have been wondering if I might be preggo but hadn’t had any morning sickness yet and he said:
“Stop being so anxious to throw up!”
🤣🤣🤣🤣
“Stop being so anxious to throw up!”
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Over Christmas, my husband said:
“Handel’s Messiah was 3 hours long and written in 28 days… and they said that autism didn’t exist back then.”
I proceeded to snort into my hot cocoa.
#sillythingsmyhusbandsaid
“Handel’s Messiah was 3 hours long and written in 28 days… and they said that autism didn’t exist back then.”
I proceeded to snort into my hot cocoa.
#sillythingsmyhusbandsaid
December 31, 2024 at 12:23 AM
Over Christmas, my husband said:
“Handel’s Messiah was 3 hours long and written in 28 days… and they said that autism didn’t exist back then.”
I proceeded to snort into my hot cocoa.
#sillythingsmyhusbandsaid
“Handel’s Messiah was 3 hours long and written in 28 days… and they said that autism didn’t exist back then.”
I proceeded to snort into my hot cocoa.
#sillythingsmyhusbandsaid
December 22, 2024 at 3:53 AM
“You women and your scalding got showers. Does it remind you of when you were cooked alive during the witch hunts?”
He got a dirty look for that one after I snorted with laughter. 🤭
#sillythingsmyhusbandsaid
He got a dirty look for that one after I snorted with laughter. 🤭
#sillythingsmyhusbandsaid
December 15, 2024 at 7:45 PM
“You women and your scalding got showers. Does it remind you of when you were cooked alive during the witch hunts?”
He got a dirty look for that one after I snorted with laughter. 🤭
#sillythingsmyhusbandsaid
He got a dirty look for that one after I snorted with laughter. 🤭
#sillythingsmyhusbandsaid
“I don’t like back handed compliments. Why use the back of the hand when you can use the whole fist?”
#sillythingsmyhusbandsaid
#sillythingsmyhusbandsaid
December 13, 2024 at 3:13 PM
“I don’t like back handed compliments. Why use the back of the hand when you can use the whole fist?”
#sillythingsmyhusbandsaid
#sillythingsmyhusbandsaid
“You know what you are when you have pruny fingers and are sunburnt at the same time? A sun dried tomato.”
#sillythingsmyhusbandsaid
#sillythingsmyhusbandsaid
December 11, 2024 at 12:46 AM
“You know what you are when you have pruny fingers and are sunburnt at the same time? A sun dried tomato.”
#sillythingsmyhusbandsaid
#sillythingsmyhusbandsaid
December 10, 2024 at 7:04 PM
“There’s a reason your asshole points backwards, so you can leave your shit behind you.”
#sillythingsmyhusbandsaid
#sillythingsmyhusbandsaid
December 9, 2024 at 1:22 PM
“There’s a reason your asshole points backwards, so you can leave your shit behind you.”
#sillythingsmyhusbandsaid
#sillythingsmyhusbandsaid
December 8, 2024 at 2:13 PM
“How can anybody have a cup of coffee and not believe in the love of the lord?”
#sillythingsmyhusbandsaid
#sillythingsmyhusbandsaid
December 7, 2024 at 3:41 PM
“How can anybody have a cup of coffee and not believe in the love of the lord?”
#sillythingsmyhusbandsaid
#sillythingsmyhusbandsaid
December 5, 2024 at 4:25 PM
“Star Wars: where you move rocks with your feelings and teddy bears save the day.”
#sillythingsmyhusbandsaid
#sillythingsmyhusbandsaid
December 4, 2024 at 1:42 PM
“Star Wars: where you move rocks with your feelings and teddy bears save the day.”
#sillythingsmyhusbandsaid
#sillythingsmyhusbandsaid
Post quarantine, husband looked into the mirror and said:
“I look like I’ve been jumped by cupcakes.”
#sillythingsmyhusbandsaid
“I look like I’ve been jumped by cupcakes.”
#sillythingsmyhusbandsaid
December 3, 2024 at 7:10 PM
Post quarantine, husband looked into the mirror and said:
“I look like I’ve been jumped by cupcakes.”
#sillythingsmyhusbandsaid
“I look like I’ve been jumped by cupcakes.”
#sillythingsmyhusbandsaid
“Do I have sophisticated tastes or do I just make my simple tastes complicated?”
#sillythingsmyhusbandsaid
#sillythingsmyhusbandsaid
December 2, 2024 at 4:37 PM
“Do I have sophisticated tastes or do I just make my simple tastes complicated?”
#sillythingsmyhusbandsaid
#sillythingsmyhusbandsaid
December 1, 2024 at 2:08 PM
“When you’re having a bad day, just keep focusing on the solutions until you run out of problems.” ❤️
November 30, 2024 at 12:47 PM
“When you’re having a bad day, just keep focusing on the solutions until you run out of problems.” ❤️
Husband as we enter the hardware aisle at Lowe’s:
“Now let me walk by what I need four times before I realize I walked right by it.”
“Now let me walk by what I need four times before I realize I walked right by it.”
November 30, 2024 at 3:09 AM
Husband as we enter the hardware aisle at Lowe’s:
“Now let me walk by what I need four times before I realize I walked right by it.”
“Now let me walk by what I need four times before I realize I walked right by it.”
Husband: Ooh we have leftover bacon!! *pause*
Would you like some bacon? There are only two strips left.
Wife: No, I’m ok. You can have both.
Husband: I’M TRYING TO SHARE!
#sillythingsmyhusbandsaid
Would you like some bacon? There are only two strips left.
Wife: No, I’m ok. You can have both.
Husband: I’M TRYING TO SHARE!
#sillythingsmyhusbandsaid
November 29, 2024 at 7:30 PM
Husband: Ooh we have leftover bacon!! *pause*
Would you like some bacon? There are only two strips left.
Wife: No, I’m ok. You can have both.
Husband: I’M TRYING TO SHARE!
#sillythingsmyhusbandsaid
Would you like some bacon? There are only two strips left.
Wife: No, I’m ok. You can have both.
Husband: I’M TRYING TO SHARE!
#sillythingsmyhusbandsaid
November 27, 2024 at 11:55 AM
November 26, 2024 at 4:54 PM
Once when I tripped over my own feet, my husband said:
“Sometimes your grace overwhelms you. You have to keep yourself humble.”
I didn’t know whether to laugh or give him the dirtiest of looks. 😂🥰
#sillythingsmyhusbandsaid
“Sometimes your grace overwhelms you. You have to keep yourself humble.”
I didn’t know whether to laugh or give him the dirtiest of looks. 😂🥰
#sillythingsmyhusbandsaid
November 25, 2024 at 4:29 PM
Once when I tripped over my own feet, my husband said:
“Sometimes your grace overwhelms you. You have to keep yourself humble.”
I didn’t know whether to laugh or give him the dirtiest of looks. 😂🥰
#sillythingsmyhusbandsaid
“Sometimes your grace overwhelms you. You have to keep yourself humble.”
I didn’t know whether to laugh or give him the dirtiest of looks. 😂🥰
#sillythingsmyhusbandsaid
“Gary Oldman is a fantastic actor. Actually I’m not convinced that you aren’t Gary Oldman right now!”
November 24, 2024 at 7:52 PM
“Gary Oldman is a fantastic actor. Actually I’m not convinced that you aren’t Gary Oldman right now!”