Guys, I need your help. How do I get this oatmilk company to send me on a cross country road trip to cheer for their alternative identity baseball team?

Good. American plantations deserve to burn now just as much as they did during Sherman's march.

Without downloading new pictures, my mental state

Right-wingers when all the soap tariffs hit:

Seems bad.

Low key terrified that this message may be all it takes to make the zoomers choose fascism forever.

Pretty unhinged text thread tbh

I am immensely thankful for:
- Holiday Lighting
- Free Rudolph noses
- The simple majesty of the Blanco at The Halls
- This excellent woman, who still doesn't mind being pictured with me occasionally.

Love you, Lo.
#MerrilyMeaders

Honestly I was a little worried this computer wasn't going to pick up the hint of existential dread.

A run down if you're new to me:

Age: 32
Height: 6'2"
Sign: 🚧"Road Work Ahead"🚧
Tattoos: 🚫
Piercings: 🚫
Past times: 🎮⚽🕹️ hassling the wife
Fav food: Breakfast
Fav color: Green and Gold
Music: Soul Pop, Folk, Pop
Movies: Better Off Dead, Hot Rod, Emperor's New Groove
Job: Teacher
Pic:

I'm awake to watch the #USWNT. LETS GET IT YANKS!

AI might be the end of our world as we know it, or whatever, but on the other hand Chat GPT just wrote a monologue for me that culminated in this stage direction and it is perfect:

Which, neither of us is desperate for parenthood right now, but it is interesting for several unelected goons to have affected our options in such a concrete way.

There is a fun irony tho because my parents support these people and they also very want grandchildren. Lol